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Mind. Body. Surrogacy.
A Modern Day Family - In The Making!
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Days Before & After Delivery!
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I enjoyed the time I had with my kids and that is really what got me by those 3 weeks. It is not that Chicago isn't amazing because it is. There was so much to do and see; we loved our beach walks. We experience many new restaurants, sprout television shows (we only have Netflix back home so Ava had an educational experience with the T.V.), and friendly faces. I can see why families live in the city enjoying all its luxuries but it is still so unfamiliar to me and I'd rather stay in my small historic town.
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The night before I went in to be induced I remember telling myself I wasn't going to get any sleep. I was so excited for Ben and my parents to get to Chicago so I ended up with 3 hours of rest before 3am came around. Ben is my hero. He went through this with full support from day 1. He has sacrificed his family being away and sooo much more than any of us have probably thought. The best thing for us to hear at the hospital was E & A's families not only thanking me but thanking Ben for being an incredible man because he was just as much a part of taking care of 17 as I was. He was calm and the most amazing delivery coach for A, E, and I. We all focused on Ben's encouraging words throughout and couldn't have done this without him. I'm very lucky to have him as my life partner.
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After I was discharged Ben and I had to find a cab to get to the train station. This on a normal day would never be an issue but the entire town was celebrating the big hockey win and it was sooooo packed. You could not hardly walk down the main streets and every cab was stuffed with people. Errrrr this was very annoying! We ended up walking 5 or so blocks after I just delivered a baby. I was pure exhausted, walking as slow as a snail, and trying not to cry from the pain in my muscles and back. Poor Ben never complained as he had all the bags while one of them was starting to cut into his skin in his hand. ouch! A cab at last and for once I wasn't terrified for my life riding along. Scariest thing I've ever EVER experienced is a Chicago cab ride, hahaha! We made it just in time as our train was boarding when we arrived. Again, I was extremely exhausted, could barely walk at this point, and on the verge of ripping someone's...anyone's... head off if they asked me when I was due. lol! Yes, I did have one woman in the station ask if I was having a boy. ha! Yes, I did JUST have a boy. She then made the remark that she thought I was only 4 or 5 months along which may have saved her because I thought that wasn't too bad after just giving birth lol!
Finally we were on the train and settled in for our ride home...HOME! At this point we were both starving, I was still in pain, and I didn't care what else happened because I knew I was going to be home soon. This was a strange feeling though because I wasn't sure where home was. We moved right before I went to Chicago not giving me any time to get a sense of my new home, then slowly made Chicago our temporary home, and now I had to go back to this place that still didn't have that come home to feeling. We were picked up at the station by my mother in law and as soon as my foot hit the ground and I seen her face I started to cry. I slowly got to the van and we went home. I pulled myself together but seeing her face really hit me hard. I missed her and I was full of hormonal changes. It took me a couple weeks but I settled in and things started to feel normal again. I should say everything except my hormones and sore body. I couldn't do much the first week back as I still wasn't able to lift, drive, or stand too long. This killed me because I wanted to do it all, I even wanted to go back to work, crazy I know!
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Now we are getting back into the swing of our previous routines and both finding what makes us happy. Ben is no longer going to be working his current position and has been offered a better option locally making around the same amount of money being able to spend more time at home. We are taking all of the positives in our life and leaning on those knowing that more great things are coming our way. I am in the process of finding a new job that relates to my educational background that will give me more of a mom schedule with my nights and weekends at home with my family.
After this journey flew by as perfect as could be we had a lot to think about. Did we want to separate from E & A? We have still been communicating regularly, sharing stories, photos, text messages, and yet it still doesn't feel like anything is ending. This makes me happy because we weren't sure in the beginning how any of us would feel about keeping in contact. Apparently we all are pretty comfortable. E would text me the first couple weeks quite often about GQ and how she missed me, this made me feel good. She always knows how to bring a tear to my eye. Just a small part of an e-mail I received from E & A a couple weeks ago about Baby G ---> "I think of you everyday when I stare at this little miracle. You gave G life -- you gave us life! I can't believe we are going through the same things: new house, new routine, job searching, seeing our hubbies more now. We will get together soon planning a weekend visit with GQ."
I'm Feeling Thankful!
We now talk once a week most of the time through texts, e-mails, and photos. She loves being G's mommy and A loves being his daddy. Toward the end of the pregnancy E joked with me about one of her nurses telling her that she would be her surrogate in a heartbeat. E responded with how wonderful I am and that if I were to ever (fingers crossed) want to do this again that she wanted to keep me as their surrogate for as long as I wanted. I had to LOL because at that point I wasn't thinking past this pregnancy one bit. Then I thought, do I want our journey to end so soon? Absolutely not! I told her without a doubt that I would do this again. I have no regrets and things have been more than perfect. I could never expect the same greatness the second time around though, is that even possible!? The further along I got in the pregnancy right up to after delivering the conversation of carrying for them again got more serious.
Ben and I have decided to continue this journey with them, me being their second time gestational surrogate. Gosh I feel great saying that! Like I said, we are family now and I would do anything for them. We have discussed things with our fertility center and with 6 months of uterine rest we will schedule our 2nd transfer in November/December. "So another Chicago summer adventure .... hmmm.. we should write a book :)" said E.
A thank you goes out to all my family for always being there to support and reassure me when others got me down. A thank you to my friends and supporters for following our story of inspiration, shedding a little light on the good things that still happen in the world. A thank you to E & A and their entire family for trusting us and treating us like their own family. The biggest thank you to GQ, that little boy has changed the lives of all of us. He will grow to do to amazing things in his lifetime and if I gave him anything out of this experience I hope it is that he knows there are good people in the world. I hope he can be a positive person, educate others, and not let the negativity and ignorance of others get in his way.
Love,
Friday, August 9, 2013
Our Birth Story!
The last post I wrote ended while I was still in labor with 17. It has been 6 weeks post delivery and I am now ready to tell this magnificent story! I apologize for keeping everyone waiting so long, I've updated my Facebook weekly about the surrogacy but time has just gotten away from me with my blog posts.
I wanted to walk around 10am and they told me they would break my water soon after. I told myself I was having this baby today, it hurts but it's so worth it. My contractions kept coming and got strong enough for me to really start focusing on my breathing to get through them. E & A's families were both at the hospital showing their support and making the experience as great as possible. They kept telling me how great I looked for being in labor and thanking me for going through all of this for them. I did cry a couple times but only for brief periods. It tends to make me emotional when I here thanks for something so important. I focused on eating my crushed ice and listening to all the stories everyone came in and out of the room. You would think it would have been awkward having people I had only just met in with me during labor but it was soothing. E's mom really touched my heart and it is hard to explain but I felt as much her daughter as E was. Between A's dads crazy stories about comedians and E's mom forgetting her own name when the OB asked, it was never a dull moment which made the time pass by extremely quick.
Flowers sent from A's parents!
The card read: Chelsea, you have given us (and E &A) a very precious gift. For you and your husband to haven given of yourselves in this way is a true act of love and kindness and a creation of a better world for us to live in. May you and your family be blessed with all good things. Our greatest love to you all.
After a few hours we were all transferred to another floor and still had separate rooms. My parents were able to bring Ava up to our room to visit. My mom told me she was freaking out the entire time during my delivery. She was being updated after a certain point and was so worried that things might not be okay that she almost made a surprise appearance, lol! We assured them that everything went perfect and we glad that they came to see us after. We are so grateful for our families to be able to help us in taking care of our children and pets during this precious time. We could not have done this without every single one of them.
We were also greeted by E & A's families. Hugs were exchanged over and over and I was thanked for giving them a grandchild. OMG! This is so much more than just a baby, this is an entire life for an entire amazing family. Blessing! Not only was I thanked but so was Ben and my entire family. Many don't realize what a sacrifice it is for a surrogate's husband and family. There is a lot of focus on the experience as a whole and it takes a lot of time away from your own family. Between the traveling, appointments and being pregnant with another family's child in general they respect Ben so much for supporting me and being a part of this journey as much as I was. Although everything was amazing it will be nice to have some time to just think about my family as it has to be a relief for them to do the same.
At this point Ben and I still were only on 3 hours of sleep and hadn't eaten since the day 1/2 before. A ordered us something to eat and I can only imagine what he was thinking as he picked it up. A little of everything you could say; pizza, fettuccine alfredo, onion rings, salad, a sandwich, mozzarella sticks, fries. ha! Apparently we couldn't decide what we wanted. After we ate we both passed out but it still didn't feel like I had much sleep with nurses in and out and me being confined to the bed still. I attempted to get up and use the restroom around 8pm but as soon as I sat to pee and seen all the blood I went pale! Tons of people rushed into my room and no one had any ammonia on them inconveniently. I remember sitting there, feeling the worst I had ever felt, trying to focus and stay awake while the nurse kept brushing my face with a cold cloth. Finally they had the ammonia waking me right up enough to get me back to the bed to rest. They had to insert a catheter for the evening because my body wasn't ready to be up and about that soon. Same thing happened with Ava so I should have seen that coming.
E & A brought baby 17 (they still hadn't named him at this point) to our room so we could see him. I was able to hold him and see them as a family. They were just deeply in love and you could feel the appreciation in the room, indescribable. They said they are going to work on his first words being Thank you. Soooo cute. I told them that no thank you is needed, it was an honor and I feel grateful just to be apart of them making a baby. I don't even feel like I did anything compared to everything they have went through to get to this point. They are the ones who are strong for being so selfless to trust another family to take care of their child for 9 months. They are amazing people and I wish I could share the happiness on their faces. They have their family!! I couldn't be more proud of them as parents for being so strong for 17. Will always love them! I would love to share all the photos of them and 17 but in order to respect their privacy I am not able to.
The next day was interesting :) I finally was able to get up, walk to the rest room, and pee without a catheter. Ben and I lounged in our room and my parents came to bring Ava up to us one last time before they left. They were kind enough to bring us breakfast and we enjoyed spending time with our own little angel. They drove back to Michigan that afternoon and we were still waiting to hear when I could be discharged. As bitter sweet as it was to separate from E, A, and 17 I was ready to be home. I pushed to be discharged early and they made it happen for me. We booked a train home for 6pm and went to E & A's room to say our 'see ya laters'.
It was like I was visiting a friend in the hospital that just had her baby. In no way (except my body being sore lol) did I feel like I had just given birth to him. I'm amazed at how normal and natural it was being around them. They gave me a beautiful gift (diamond and pearl necklace with a C pendant) and told me how amazing I looked. I just stared in awe at them and couldn't thank them enough for such a great experience. Of course they thought I was crazy to give them thanks but I truly meant it. We now call 17 baby GQ. They had 2 G names in mind and couldn't decide until the day after so G question resulted in GQ for a nickname. (and yes he is as handsome as ever so it is a well deserved nickname)
GQ has been welcomed into this world with so much love not only from his family but from my entire family and all of our friends as well. This could not have been a more rewarding thing to do and I wouldn't change a thing. We are definitely family now and they will always have a bond with me that no one else could ever touch. We walked into the hall and met with there parents again before we left and I need to express how hard it was to walk away and leave them. I bonded so much with all of them and I can say that they really helped me get through the day. There was nothing I could do but cry when they all told me how thankful they were over and over but I will never forget E's mom telling me I saved her daughters life. "OMG I can't take all of this" I kept thinking. I was such an emotional mess to think that yes I helped this family in the most incredible way. She said the doctors told E that if she would have carried GQ she would have died and then she said you saved her and you will always be a blessing to our family, you will always be thought of, and we will always be grateful. Nothing in the world can compare to how I felt. Simply Incredible.
Congratulations E, A, GQ, and Family! We love you dearly!
Love,
June 28th, 2013 Our Birth Story!
39 1/2 weeks!
Rocking the pink nail polish! E and I went for a mani/pedi the day before to relax and focus on how far we have all come. Last year, this time, Ben and I had a 6 year old and a 6 month old. We were looking to buy a home and working our way up the employment ladder pursuing better jobs. We knew we wanted to be surrogate parents and we were looking for that perfect match! E & A were at the lowest point in their lives and couldn't imagine a positive outcome for themselves to have a family. A decision they never saw themselves having to make was now their only option if they wanted to have a biological child. They were looking for the perfect woman to be the gestational carrier for their child. Things had been so bad for them emotionally that it was difficult for them to be positive, all they could do was hope and pray that everything would work out for the best. Now we are all here together, in the delivery room, ready to have this baby, THEIR BABY! What an amazing journey that none of us seen happening so fast.
I was induced bright and early on Friday morning around 4am. I was already having contractions without knowing 2-5 minutes apart and the hospital just helped make them stronger, MUCH stronger. They put me on Pitocin making contractions 2-4 minutes apart and I could feel them now! We all stayed in the room and just waited for the contractions to continue to dilate my cervix. I had my IV in and the start of labor became very annoying to all of us with my darn machine continuing to beep out of control. It kept saying there was an error but there were too many bubbles in the IV line so they ended up getting all of that fixed so we didn't have to listen to that horrible sound. We were all told continuously to get some rest but how in the world can any of us sleep with all this excitement!
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I always knew what it meant to E and A for me to carry 17 but I don't think I thought as hard about how much it meant to their entire family until this day. Seeing all of their faces and watching them care for and love E & A just by being their with their support really hit home for me. I knew how loved 17 would be before meeting their families but after meeting them I knew 17 was the most blessed baby in the world to have this family!
As planned they broke my water (which hurt extremely bad!) The baby's head was already very far down so they were having difficulty breaking my bag. I didn't get that big gush feeling afterward like I had with Ava's water being broken but they didn't want me to go through any more torture at that point so they were going to give me an epidural (as requested) and if needed break my water. I was scared because they didn't allow anyone to be in the room during the epidural and last time I relied on Ben to get me through it but my nurse was absolutely amazing! Turns out that E was the nurses daughters pediatrician. Small world but she truly made our experience incredible! Our nurse came in to the room around 2:30 to see how my labor was progressing. I felt much different and noticed quite a bit of pressure coming down. She was supposed to go deliver another baby if I wasn't ready and she made it clear that she really wanted to deliver me and be there with all of us during this special time. I insisted I was ready to go (even though I wasn't sure) so it may have gotten her out of that other delivery and kept her with us ;)
Every time our OB came to check on us I was progressing very well and never expected her to tell us I was at an 8. We were all surprised and it made things very very real! Baby 17 was coming and SOON! She would come in and tell us exactly where I should be and what to expect around the times she told us and it was always right on. The time she told us I would be ready for an epidural was exact. The time she told us she would break my water was exact. She came in to see how I was feeling because she had another patient that was ready for delivery. She made sure that I was still comfortable and not ready to push before she was unavailable for a short period. She told us she would be right in after that delivery and she was right on time. She came in and I was ready to get this pushing process started!
E & A were both tucked in the back on my right side while Ben was right by my side. Our nurse asked E if she would rather be right next to me on my left side. I think she was hesitate at first because she wanted to respect my privacy but I insisted both of them were next me. This may seem strange to my readers but truly at this point I was ready and didn't care who was watching, lol! This was their baby and absolutely I felt they had the right to see their baby being born. I was not uncomfortable in the least, they are both doctors for one (I'm sure they have seen it all), this experience for me was looked at in such a beautiful way and I wanted them there! I wanted E to experience everything I did (in a different way because that is impossible) but if I needed to squeeze a hand, I wanted it to be hers! I had Ben on my right holding my leg and E on my left holding my leg with A next to her supporting us all the way. I'm at a 10 at this point and it is time! I feel a huge pressure telling me to push and as soon as that contraction came I was pushing. It took a couple tries to really get my positioning down for the best possible pushes but between my OB coaching me, Ben's calm voice counting, and E & A making me laugh we all had it down! The labor and delivery was relaxing and that has never been a word described to me from any woman giving birth. "This should not be possible" is what I was thinking during this whole 1/2 day. There is no way I should not be feeling any pain and there is no way everything is going perfect! This is blowing my mind but hey I'm just pushing out a baby having these thoughts, LOL!
It seemed like minutes between contractions during the pushing, I almost thought labor was stopping and then another contraction would come right around the corner and I would push again. I had the best team beside me! It was time to push to again and here is E next to me saying "milkyways...... gummy worms.....champagne......." hahaha! It was the best motivation ever and the most hilarious thing to hear during delivery. In between and during contractions I was literally laughing, again this should never be possible! Here comes the next contraction...Okay it is time to push again...E says "pizza.....lasagna....more champagne" hahahaha! The OB was astounded and told me to laugh all I want because it was helping the baby come out. Funniest thing in the world that I literally laughed baby 17 out of me! This was too good to be true, like a movie that doesn't give all the details and makes it seem as if the woman isn't even in pain but rather enjoying herself. That was our delivery! Random yet incredible! 15 minutes later the most incredible little BOY entered the world at 3:53 p.m. weighing 8 pounds 3 ounces and 21 inches long. As soon as I saw him in our OB's hands I felt overjoyed. I looked at his long little fingers, cute little face, and all his dark hair and was thankful instantly to have carried him the last 9 months. At that point I was sad to think our journey had ended but really it was only the beginning.
A cut 17's cord and went right over to the station set up for him after delivery in the room. During the pregnancy this was the moment where I wasn't sure how I would feel. Who can say how they would feel without going through the experience. As much as I told myself and everyone else that I wouldn't feel any attachment I still couldn't rule out the possibility and I tried to prepare myself for that very moment. To answer the question that most people asked me throughout all of this, "Aren't you afraid of getting attached and how will you feel once you have the baby?" I feel great! If I had any doubts that I would be attached they all went away after I seen that little miracle and he looked just like his mom and dad. I cannot lie that during the pregnancy I said "Now if this baby comes out with blond hair and blue eyes something is wrong!" haha He was the perfect little replica of E & A no doubt about it. Amazing how I was able to carry this little boy throughout a pregnancy without any biological connection. Blows my mind!
Our OB told me how impressed she was with me, my patience, and this selfless miracle I helped make happen. I had such great treatment and care and she said they couldn't have dreamed up a better patient going through labor and delivery. The entire team of professionals were exactly that! They were extremely supportive and truly showed how much they cared for all of us. I was so glad that they made this day as much about E & A as they did about me. No one felt left out and everyone was treated with the up most respect and care. After the birth I watched E & A with their new baby and I had tears in my eyes. Ben was next to me telling me how amazing I am and we both couldn't believe how great it really did feel to nurture him until he was ready to go home. It was the most beautiful thing to see E & A with baby 17. I was the happiest person in the world at that moment. They were then transferred to a separate room on the same floor so we could both have privacy during the first couples hours of recovery. A checked on us, made sure we were comfortable, and updated us about 17. He had high birth scores, ate like a champ, and was healthy as can be. This made me feel so good!
The card read: Chelsea, you have given us (and E &A) a very precious gift. For you and your husband to haven given of yourselves in this way is a true act of love and kindness and a creation of a better world for us to live in. May you and your family be blessed with all good things. Our greatest love to you all.
After a few hours we were all transferred to another floor and still had separate rooms. My parents were able to bring Ava up to our room to visit. My mom told me she was freaking out the entire time during my delivery. She was being updated after a certain point and was so worried that things might not be okay that she almost made a surprise appearance, lol! We assured them that everything went perfect and we glad that they came to see us after. We are so grateful for our families to be able to help us in taking care of our children and pets during this precious time. We could not have done this without every single one of them.
We were also greeted by E & A's families. Hugs were exchanged over and over and I was thanked for giving them a grandchild. OMG! This is so much more than just a baby, this is an entire life for an entire amazing family. Blessing! Not only was I thanked but so was Ben and my entire family. Many don't realize what a sacrifice it is for a surrogate's husband and family. There is a lot of focus on the experience as a whole and it takes a lot of time away from your own family. Between the traveling, appointments and being pregnant with another family's child in general they respect Ben so much for supporting me and being a part of this journey as much as I was. Although everything was amazing it will be nice to have some time to just think about my family as it has to be a relief for them to do the same.
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The next day was interesting :) I finally was able to get up, walk to the rest room, and pee without a catheter. Ben and I lounged in our room and my parents came to bring Ava up to us one last time before they left. They were kind enough to bring us breakfast and we enjoyed spending time with our own little angel. They drove back to Michigan that afternoon and we were still waiting to hear when I could be discharged. As bitter sweet as it was to separate from E, A, and 17 I was ready to be home. I pushed to be discharged early and they made it happen for me. We booked a train home for 6pm and went to E & A's room to say our 'see ya laters'.
It was like I was visiting a friend in the hospital that just had her baby. In no way (except my body being sore lol) did I feel like I had just given birth to him. I'm amazed at how normal and natural it was being around them. They gave me a beautiful gift (diamond and pearl necklace with a C pendant) and told me how amazing I looked. I just stared in awe at them and couldn't thank them enough for such a great experience. Of course they thought I was crazy to give them thanks but I truly meant it. We now call 17 baby GQ. They had 2 G names in mind and couldn't decide until the day after so G question resulted in GQ for a nickname. (and yes he is as handsome as ever so it is a well deserved nickname)
GQ has been welcomed into this world with so much love not only from his family but from my entire family and all of our friends as well. This could not have been a more rewarding thing to do and I wouldn't change a thing. We are definitely family now and they will always have a bond with me that no one else could ever touch. We walked into the hall and met with there parents again before we left and I need to express how hard it was to walk away and leave them. I bonded so much with all of them and I can say that they really helped me get through the day. There was nothing I could do but cry when they all told me how thankful they were over and over but I will never forget E's mom telling me I saved her daughters life. "OMG I can't take all of this" I kept thinking. I was such an emotional mess to think that yes I helped this family in the most incredible way. She said the doctors told E that if she would have carried GQ she would have died and then she said you saved her and you will always be a blessing to our family, you will always be thought of, and we will always be grateful. Nothing in the world can compare to how I felt. Simply Incredible.
Congratulations E, A, GQ, and Family! We love you dearly!
Love,
Friday, June 28, 2013
The Home Stretch!!!
The last few weeks have definitely been the toughest throughout our experience. It has been so nice to step away from reality for a little while but it has set in that I miss home like crazy. I've spent this time bonding with my daughter (we have had a ton of mommy/daughter time) relaxing, walking everyday learning my way around this Chicago area, trying new restaurants, going to the park, walking along the beach, and did I mention walking? I swear I have walked my tush off and burnt the wheels off the stroller :) Ava absolutely loves the walks though, she gets into the stroller everyday and says, "side" for outside. She is getting used to the city life and expects to go walking and to the park daily.
This past week my husband was able to bring our son down to spend the week. Unfortunately Ben was only able to stay for the 1/2 day and he had to get back on the train to Michigan. It has been a very emotional experience being away from him this long. We talk, text, send photos everyday but still only seeing him once in 3 weeks has been difficult. I'd be lying if I said I was completely happy and fully having a good time. I really miss my family being together and this has been a huge sacrifice but in the end I can't imagine E & A not being around for this home stretch. I've cried, I've laughed, I've been caught in 2 down pour rain storms with Ava, I've relaxed, and I've realized why I am a surrogate in the first place. Family is the number one most important thing to me and if that meant to give up a small amount of time with mine to give E & A what they have only dreamed of then that alone is worth it. Ha, now I'm crying again. Oh Jeez!
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Our son spent the week here with me and my mom was able to get time off work to join us as well so that made things go by a little quicker. We were able to do and see a lot of things with the kids like the navy pier, fireworks, the beach, the pool, the mall, the magnificent mile, tons of buildings and shops to look at, ohhh and a lot more walking!
My favorite moments during this trip is really enjoying the small things. I haven't had to worry about everyday routines, laundry, huge cleaning lists, school, work, bills, etc. This has given me sooo much time to really get to know my daughter, to love on her, to teach her new things, and to really dedicate my focus on her. She has changed so much in just a few weeks and it is nice that I'm actually able to see the changes instead of time clashing by in our busy daily lives. It has just made me really appreciate my time with her and to stop to enjoy the kid's younger years because they fly by.
It has been so strange counting down the days until delivery because we had just been going week by week. The last few days Ava and I have really just stayed in and relaxed considering I knew I'd be going into labor and didn't actually need the extra walking to get things going. Sounds lazy huh!? lol I had the apartment all packed up by Wednesday the 26th including my hospital bag. It was a little strange not packing for a baby to come home so I wasn't sure what to take at first. I soon got it figured out and just packed anything that I knew would make me feel comfortable. Comfort is the key! I've been having small sharp pains in my pelvic area which have just meant that 17 is getting lower and about ready to come. Some of those pains make me almost fall to the floor they are so out of the blue and hard. I figure for having such an easy pregnancy that a handful of pains is well worth it.
Our last appointment at 39 weeks was Tuesday the 25th. Ava and I were up bright and early so I could get her to the nanny then E and I took off for yet another long OB wait. Dilated to a 2 and cervix was very very thin so that is wonderful news. It means that inducing me is a favorable option for my body. Baby's head in still down and they are guessing weight at the mid 7 range. Things have felt comfortable being around E more, so much that we both agree that people look at us as the lesbian couple in the waiting room ;) Hilarious conversations we have. I don't think I have yet discussed the "nanny" which could have thrown a lot of you off, haha. (as it did me if I might add) E & A insisted to have someone here with me to help with Ava and to be with her during our scheduled appointments. Ava took to her pretty well although she shows her more attitude than anything. Anytime Maymee (what Ava calls the nanny) comes around she will look at her and give her a shout like "back away from me woman!" It really is too funny.
I'd say in a way yes Maymee has been helpful but mostly I think she just gets on my nerves, lol. I am an active person and she babies me to not bend over or push the stroller, etc. Pretty annoying so the last couple days I didn't even have her come over. She wants to go for walks with us daily which was funny because at first she wasn't keeping up with my pace and then you could tell the further along I got because here I was slower than Maymee's pace, lol. I must say that it has been very strange having someone else try to take care of me when normally I am the one taking care of everyone else. It has been nice not doing my own laundry for a few weeks, ha! I better get off fantasy land because I will be back at it again in a few days.
Our last two OB appointments we have met the last couple OB's that could potentially deliver 17 if need be and let me tell you E and I fell in love. It was like a strange female crush from the moment they walked in. Our OB is amazing don't get me wrong BUT this OB was gorgeous and just had a way of making you feel great about the experience. Loved Her! They planned the induction for Friday the 28th at 3:30a.m. which had me stressed out at first. I just wanted to make sure that Ben and my family were here in time and I knew they couldn't leave Michigan until 1a.m. after Ben got out of work. I decided to not think of the tiny details and just relax but the normal Chelsea would be crazy about the plans not being exactly how they were supposed to be. Yes, I let go and just went with things for once ;)
Next post is labor and delivery (which I am in right now as I type) haha ... E said I can't even relax while I am about to give birth, Oh Jeez. Well, the OB just came in and said things are looking amazing and she is impressed with me so that is going to sum things up until the next post!
Love,
This past week my husband was able to bring our son down to spend the week. Unfortunately Ben was only able to stay for the 1/2 day and he had to get back on the train to Michigan. It has been a very emotional experience being away from him this long. We talk, text, send photos everyday but still only seeing him once in 3 weeks has been difficult. I'd be lying if I said I was completely happy and fully having a good time. I really miss my family being together and this has been a huge sacrifice but in the end I can't imagine E & A not being around for this home stretch. I've cried, I've laughed, I've been caught in 2 down pour rain storms with Ava, I've relaxed, and I've realized why I am a surrogate in the first place. Family is the number one most important thing to me and if that meant to give up a small amount of time with mine to give E & A what they have only dreamed of then that alone is worth it. Ha, now I'm crying again. Oh Jeez!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiia16lbnpUFRpdvLVhUICYk_-HrXZxZAds_pczDqShMeivnSiuFhsarj2vewHK-P7RMaEpgdbScpH-gcT58ZvTv30YXkAYAxUvKSjXzsKf8T9cjgEHPgqPJB17OAsJnHbZ35AivXi_wSio/s320/0619130932.jpg)
Our son spent the week here with me and my mom was able to get time off work to join us as well so that made things go by a little quicker. We were able to do and see a lot of things with the kids like the navy pier, fireworks, the beach, the pool, the mall, the magnificent mile, tons of buildings and shops to look at, ohhh and a lot more walking!
My favorite moments during this trip is really enjoying the small things. I haven't had to worry about everyday routines, laundry, huge cleaning lists, school, work, bills, etc. This has given me sooo much time to really get to know my daughter, to love on her, to teach her new things, and to really dedicate my focus on her. She has changed so much in just a few weeks and it is nice that I'm actually able to see the changes instead of time clashing by in our busy daily lives. It has just made me really appreciate my time with her and to stop to enjoy the kid's younger years because they fly by.
It has been so strange counting down the days until delivery because we had just been going week by week. The last few days Ava and I have really just stayed in and relaxed considering I knew I'd be going into labor and didn't actually need the extra walking to get things going. Sounds lazy huh!? lol I had the apartment all packed up by Wednesday the 26th including my hospital bag. It was a little strange not packing for a baby to come home so I wasn't sure what to take at first. I soon got it figured out and just packed anything that I knew would make me feel comfortable. Comfort is the key! I've been having small sharp pains in my pelvic area which have just meant that 17 is getting lower and about ready to come. Some of those pains make me almost fall to the floor they are so out of the blue and hard. I figure for having such an easy pregnancy that a handful of pains is well worth it.
Our last appointment at 39 weeks was Tuesday the 25th. Ava and I were up bright and early so I could get her to the nanny then E and I took off for yet another long OB wait. Dilated to a 2 and cervix was very very thin so that is wonderful news. It means that inducing me is a favorable option for my body. Baby's head in still down and they are guessing weight at the mid 7 range. Things have felt comfortable being around E more, so much that we both agree that people look at us as the lesbian couple in the waiting room ;) Hilarious conversations we have. I don't think I have yet discussed the "nanny" which could have thrown a lot of you off, haha. (as it did me if I might add) E & A insisted to have someone here with me to help with Ava and to be with her during our scheduled appointments. Ava took to her pretty well although she shows her more attitude than anything. Anytime Maymee (what Ava calls the nanny) comes around she will look at her and give her a shout like "back away from me woman!" It really is too funny.
I'd say in a way yes Maymee has been helpful but mostly I think she just gets on my nerves, lol. I am an active person and she babies me to not bend over or push the stroller, etc. Pretty annoying so the last couple days I didn't even have her come over. She wants to go for walks with us daily which was funny because at first she wasn't keeping up with my pace and then you could tell the further along I got because here I was slower than Maymee's pace, lol. I must say that it has been very strange having someone else try to take care of me when normally I am the one taking care of everyone else. It has been nice not doing my own laundry for a few weeks, ha! I better get off fantasy land because I will be back at it again in a few days.
Our last two OB appointments we have met the last couple OB's that could potentially deliver 17 if need be and let me tell you E and I fell in love. It was like a strange female crush from the moment they walked in. Our OB is amazing don't get me wrong BUT this OB was gorgeous and just had a way of making you feel great about the experience. Loved Her! They planned the induction for Friday the 28th at 3:30a.m. which had me stressed out at first. I just wanted to make sure that Ben and my family were here in time and I knew they couldn't leave Michigan until 1a.m. after Ben got out of work. I decided to not think of the tiny details and just relax but the normal Chelsea would be crazy about the plans not being exactly how they were supposed to be. Yes, I let go and just went with things for once ;)
Next post is labor and delivery (which I am in right now as I type) haha ... E said I can't even relax while I am about to give birth, Oh Jeez. Well, the OB just came in and said things are looking amazing and she is impressed with me so that is going to sum things up until the next post!
Love,
Monday, June 10, 2013
The Chicago Move!!!
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Our 34 week appointment went great as expected so we waited to come down again until the 36th week appointment which was this past Wednesday the 5th. Ben and I drove into town and met with E for the appointment. Gosh it was so nice to see her and have her there. I was so thankful my husband was able to come down with me too since work has been so tight on having time off lately. We were able to talk with E while waiting to go into see our OB so catching up in person was great!
First things first, the weight check, ugh I dread this part! I am up 26 pounds with baby 17 but I am so happy with that! I feel great and I feel like I look great so that is all that matters. Baby 17 has been extremely well taken care of and I've been a happy surro mommy feeding my sweet cravings little by little so all is well. 17's heartbeat is super strong and we all witnessed how eager 17 is to see mom and dad (E &A). As soon as the monitor went on the belly 17 was very excited and E was able to see how active her little angel was, kicking that monitor and shifting positions, whew!
Everything is going according to plan so far, I am still scheduled to be induced Friday, June 28th and my body is already showing small signs that it is getting closer to delivery time. I am dilated to a 1 1/2 and 50% effaced. It doesn't seem like much but I was full term with Ava and still at nothing all around so I take this as good progress :) They say your second delivery is easier and quicker but I think it is because I know what to expect now and with having one child my body is familiar with the process. Our OB said that we can't tell from the dilation when I will go into labor because many women go 3-5 centimeters for weeks before giving birth. Oh Goodness. At least we have a date in case I do not go into labor on my own so June 28th it is and we are all happy with that!
After the appointment Ben and I took a nice walk with E around the neighborhood. She wanted to show us where I'd be staying to get us a little familiar with the move before it just happens. Everything was perfect, the neighborhood is unbelievable and extremely safe feeling, there are soooo many things to see with us being just blocks from the E & A, the hospital, Lake MI, and the Magnificent Mile. The are all about making us feel comfortable with our surroundings considering this is a brand new lifestyle Ava and I are taking on for the next few weeks.
This has been the busiest and craziest time that I could have ever imagined possible. Ben and I finally bought a house and moved in the end of May. We had all the stress of moving while still working and having the kids, it was just overwhelming. Then we had to try to prepare for my move down to Chicago the very next week after the move so you can only imagine how much more that put on my shoulders. I was so excited to finally be able to settle into our new home and then I had pack again to move to another temporary home. It has been quite emotional if I am to be honest. I was more concerned with Ava being moved back and forth confusing her but I know she will adjust in time like mommy will. Now that I'm here I think the hardest part is her saying DaDa all the time and of course her looking just like him doesn't help me not to think about him 24/7. Of course it has only been 2 days so far (Oh Goodness I hate saying that because there is at least a week more before we see him if not longer) but it seems like forever since our goodbyes weren't the best. We both ended up being so sick the couple days before the Chicago move so we were absolutely miserable and it doesn't feel like we had a proper goodbye. Ben is having to stay back in MI due to work hours and being short handed so we weren't exactly set up in the position we thought we would be in. I do miss him like crazy but it seems he has decided to surprise me with an earlier remodel of the house than expected. He sent me photos are our dining room and holy goodness was I shocked. He has the whole thing tore apart and is starting the huge project while Ava and I are away so that it is finished by the time we get back. He is the best husband ;) He will be down for delivery though no matter what so that is a huge sigh of relief because I cannot do this without him. He has been there with me through all of this, he is my rock.
E & A are getting soooooooo excited!!! They can't wait for baby 17 to arrive a we can all only imagine. They are also feeling overwhelmed with things as they plan for 17 to be born and on top of that making an out of state move to Michigan within just a couple weeks after the birth. They will be moving closer to their family and closer to us which is always a plus :)
I will continue more tomorrow but 17 is shifting like crazy so it is time for me to lay down and call it a night :) Sleeping well besides the normal nightly peeing and waking up with hot flashes the past couple nights but could just be the nerves. It will get better, Ava and I are already making our way around much easier than Saturday. I'm sure there is soooo much I missed but I will recap as promised ;)
Love,
Sunday, May 12, 2013
33 Weeks!!
Happy Mother's Day!!!
My day began with a quick e-mail to E sending her a new belly photo and wishing her a happy mothers day from 17. Her responses to my e-mails make me tear up every time but this one really hit me on how much they truly care about me. "You are sooooo pretty!!!! You look amazing Chelsea! What an amazing mothers day....You are helping me become a mother.... I will always celebrate you on mothers day Chels:)" Best Gift Ever!!
I had promised a quick new post about some negativity we encountered but I think I am going to wait until after delivery. Right now, things are just so positive and are going so perfectly that the last thing any of us need is to get caught up in any drama that may get our spirits down. This is a time of celebration and joy and that is all we can focus on! Week 33 will be here Tuesday!! Ohhhh Myyyy is the delivery date creeping up fast! Our week 30 and 32 appointments went great! I still have no swelling except in my fingers which is minor. It is amazing that with this pregnancy I can still see the bones in my legs! I think the lower sodium intake helps a ton! I still feel pretty small, that is until I look in the mirror (full body image--->beautiful but ughk, lol) I'm still rocking out the medium clothing which makes me feel great! Our week 32 OB appointment I was up 21 pounds----> NOT BAD! I feel like I'm doing well with my eating habits but that is not to say I don't have major cravings! I love my cherry slushy, peanut butter (strange because I normal hate the PB), anything sweet is on the top of my list, and of course the macaroni ;)
New Belly Photo!
30 1/2 Weeks
How am I feeling?? Now that we are coming up on week 33 I am starting to feel a little more tired than usual. I have had to rearrange my routine cleaning schedule packed into 2 days a week instead of small things daily so that I just have more days to not have to feel behind or that I have to get something done. My energy is good but I have my times where I just would love to take a nap. Naps never happen but a woman can dream :) I'm tossing a turning quite a bit during the night always trying to get comfortable as now it's hard for me to stand up without getting a rocking head start, lol. Belly is still comfortable as far as not having any type of shooting pains or cramping unless I eat something 17 doesn't agree with. I have the normal pregnant aching back and neck but nothing too complain about. One thing I hated when pregnant was the charlie horses I would get at night while sleeping....they're back!!! I have not fully gotten one yet because I relax and flex just in time before the full grasp, thank goodness! Those things are the worst pain and I would get them one after another with Ava! OUCH! My poor calves can't take the charlie horse beatings. It is getting harder to breathe or to catch my breath when I get moving around too fast so I have to remember to take it easy although it is easier said than done. I still carry Ava and her bags but it doesn't seem to phase me much. The doctor said for the most part I can do anything I did before the pregnancy.
17's Movement - There will be no kick counts for this baby! Constant movement throughout the entire day and those shifts get stronger and stronger. I swear my uterus is only on my ride side because 17 could not be tucked in any further in that area. I always feel/see the heavy shifts right up front and along my entire right side all the way to my back, strange!!! I still only have a small lightly tinted belly line which completely blows my mind because with Ava I had a full dark belly line, top and bottom, by 25 weeks.
E & A - They are very excited! They have started shopping and planning for 17's arrival but I don't have much more information to share than that. I haven't heard any name choices and of course we do not know 17's gender so it will all be a big surprise on delivery day. We had our last Michigan OB appointment May 9th, 17's heartbeat 148. We start our Chicago OB appointments May 22nd (week 34) and it is going to be great having E & A there with me instead of me going alone.
Emotionally - I feel awesome! Ben and I have been very happy with our entire experience so far and I feel amazing about what I'm able to do to help E & A. I have fallen in love with them and feel so much happiness for their new family. I feel 17 move more than ever at this point and was wondering in the beginning if I would feel differently about carrying another family's child when I felt the strong kicking. The truth is, I don't feel any different then I thought I'd feel. It is exciting when 17 tosses and turns but in no way do I feel like 17 is my child. I have so much focus on how E & A feel and their excitement that it keeps my emotions in neutral. I get emotional, don't get me wrong, but it isn't about handing the baby over. I don't see the delivery as giving 17 away at all. I cry over little things like t.v. shows, etc. I feel overwhelmed sometimes with all that our family has going on with the surrogacy on top of it all but I manage the organized chaos pretty well. We have finally bought a house so are in the process of finalizing the closing on that for the beginning of June, our son is in a billion and one sports it seems so we are always busy with that, and I start summer classes next week. I'm still working and starting to pack for the big move. I will be heading down to Chicago for the temporary move the middle of June, delivering a baby the end of June, while still in school and coming home to a new house. I am soooooo excited though because I will be on maternity leave during most of the summer giving me plenty of time to get the house in order and to relax with my family while I heal.
Newest Belly
Photo!
32 weeks!!
Hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day!!! A BIG special thank you to my mom for raising me to be the woman I am, always having confidence in me, and cheering me on. I love you Mom! I hope to make as big of a difference in my own daughters life.
Love,
Saturday, April 13, 2013
11 Weeks Until Delivery!!!!
A quick new post as promised!!!! Soooo I already see a couple things I missed in the last post that were pretty funny so I'm going to recap for a minute. When we all sat down at the cafe for lunch I forgot to mention how the ordering went. This deserves a BIG Laugh Out Loud! Ben ordered some type of hobo breakfast skillet while E & A shared an egg white omelet with everything healthy imaginable in it and here I am looking up from the menu.....Cheeseburger! hahaha! Oh Goodness, Can you tell which one is pregnant and picky?! Next recap is the milkway situation we encountered at the OB office. Ben and I boarded the train to leave Chicago and when we settled in he pulled out the milkways that E tried to give me previously! OMG! That sneaky little lady got my husband in on stashing those milkways for me to have and YES they were gone before we left Chicago, hahahaha! Good thing they were just mini ones! I had to send her a text telling her she was in big trouble! (: I love our relationship!
28 1/2 Weeks!
We had our 28 week appointment Tuesday for a two week check up and glucose testing. I did the normal pee in a cup routine and hopped on the scale. Ugh what a drag! I have been having major cravings this pregnancy and as much as I have behaved, I have also wandered if you will. Up 18 pounds so in 2 months I gained 10 more pounds. Ouch!!!! I am going to have to be very very good the remainder of this pregnancy to meet my under 30 goal. Only 12 weeks to go so I'm hoping for 1/2 pound a week or so. My blood pressure is great at 115/70 and baby 17's heartbeat is in the 140's (just like Ava's was!!) Maybe a girl???!
When this appointment was made I wasn't informed that I was supposed to wait around for an hour after to have my blood drawn (or maybe the baby brain set in and I forgot). I was scheduled to work at 10:45 when I needed to get blood work done at 11:05, yikes! I called around to co-workers to get someone to cover me until I could get there but before I heard a response I just drove the less than a mile distance, opened the restaurant, and then when my co-worker showed up took off quickly back to the hospital. There was a lot of running around for me that's for sure. When I got back to the hospital there was OF COURSE no parking so up to the very top of the parking garage I go! Walked down 5 flights of stairs and then afterward back up 5 flights of stairs. Wooooo Hooooo this girl is out of shape! I did pull off the walking up the stairs and texting at the same time though, bad bad bad!!! I kept telling myself not to fall as I slowly made my way up each step and texting E about the appointment. I haven't heard the glucose results yet so we will wait to see. I'm sure everything is perfect!
We will only have 2 more appointments in MI and then we are Chicago bound for the duration of the pregnancy! I never thought I would be saying that already but like I said, time is just flying by. That brings us to our delivery plans!!!!! I will begin going to Chicago for appointments starting our 34th week (May 22nd) and then we will have another OB check-up June 5th for our 36 week appointment. We are going to alternate doctors for every appointment in Chicago so that we see each doctor in the office. This is a precaution in case Dr. M isn't available when 17 decides to make their appearance. I think it is great we get to become familiar with each possible delivering OB and it makes me soooooo much more comfortable about going to a new place. From 36 weeks on we will begin appointment weekly instead of biweekly and E & A will be going to all of the Chicago appointments which will be an exciting change from what I've been used to in Michigan (going alone).
Dr. M discussed our options for delivery and told us that she would be willing to induce as early as week 39 if my body shows signs of being ready (dilating, contractions, 17's position). We all agreed that we like that option best so that we can try to plan 17's arrival as much as possible. Also, depending on the appointments for week 34 and 36 (great blood pressure and no signs of labor) I will be relocating to Chicago around week 37. I will be staying in an apartment only 1 block away from E & A and Ava will be going down with me for the 2-3 weeks. David will also be coming down to stay for week 38 :) We are all very excited for a little vacation. Unfortunately Ben will not be able to take the time off work so he will be joining us on his days off each week as we are going to attempt to schedule all his days off in a row. The light at the end of the tunnel is officially Friday, June 28th! We will be scheduled for an induction if all things go as planned and if not then we will be on 17's time frame. :) Oh it is so strange to know a date that E & A will hold their new edition!
Dr. M completely took all my worries away with being induced as I was induced with Ava and had a horrible experience. I was very reluctant to the idea at first because I really wanted to just go into labor on my own but I think this will be for best for all of us. The hospital we are delivering at is an all women's hospital that is always fully staffed and prepared for any type of situation imaginable so that I will never be on hold because another emergency came up. I have been promised that this is the best of the best hospitals and that I will get the most incredible care possible. It is interesting because I feel like I am getting better care with 17 not being my child than I did with my own. It is good to know I will be in good hands (:
Sleep - I've been tossing and turning this past week a lot! I wake up to every little noise but I'm only up to pee once a night. Poor Ben has to feel like he has an inch of space as I hog the bed in my crazy positions. ha! For some reason the most comfortable sleep position in on my left side with my legs straight out in front of me.
Cravings - I just feel soooooo hungry all the time!!! I feel like I never get full but I've been working on mind over matter. I always have to eat breakfast and I am now doing the Special K protein cereal in the mornings which actually makes me feel pretty satisfied. I have been skipping lunch because I work during that time so I have a small snack afterward to get me by until dinner. My problems are the late night cravings for anything sweet! The sour jolly ranger chews, 100 calorie pack blond brownies, ice-cream, slushys, tablespoon of frosting, hahaha okay I know it is beginning to get ridiculous.
Body Changes - You have seen the photo for proof that 17 is growing like crazy and weighs around 3-4 pounds at this point. I am smaller than I was with Ava at this point as far as weight gain so my belly looks big but I can still see my ribs and hip bones when I lean to the side, OH YA! My belly button is fully popped out officially, my hands are slightly swollen (but only by a 1/2 ring size), and my veins are big and unattractive from the blood flow working extra hard. I have no swelling in my ankles which is beautiful news to me so far because you could no longer see my leg formation I had so much water retention with Ava. I am not yet experiencing any random shooting pain down my leg or pelvic area from 17 kicking or laying on nerves. It seemed like my first pregnancy was full of those experiences along with charlie horses in my calves at night. So far nothing to complain about except a slight heavy feeling and my body going to sleep at random times in my arms, legs, and back. I do have a swollen lymph node in my pelvic area on the one side though so I start feeling pressure and discomfort after running around all day at work and with the kids.
Mood - I did say I was 28 weeks pregnant right? hehehe The mood seems to change a lot but not too hot and cold (says myself) :) I'm feeling motivation and happy but at the same time impatient and feisty. It has been a pattern lately with me not to think before I just blurt out my thoughts especially at work with my co-workers who I'm comfortable with (And some regular guests I might add...Okay maybe just one particular guest) I will refer to this guest as Mr. Grumpy Pants (nickname from muah) He has been coming in for years Monday through Friday mid-mornings so I've come to know him well. He doesn't take a lot of crap from others, always has something to complain about, and is very old in his ways of the role of a woman. He is constantly pestering me about getting in the kitchen, rattling pans, letting my husband take naps (but no naps for me builds character), etc. Just a plain ole ass sometimes, haha! I don't ever take him seriously and since this pregnancy I give his crap right back to him. My co-worker E thinks 17 is making me mean and here may be an example why, Tuesday I walked into work and there sits Mr. Grumpy Pants! I barely get 5 steps and he started on me ranting and raving, "Finally crawling out of bed and showing up for work, yada yada yada" (7am is not an early enough time for me to wake up) and before he could get the full sentence out I blurt out, "Shut the F*** Up". Not too loud and mostly in a cute high pitched tone but holy goodness did he start dying laughing, along with my co-workers E and D. Absolutely hilarious and random! They all told me (even him) that I need to stay pregnant because my behavior is hysterical. I wasn't going to admit this side of my mood but it seems appropriate because not being pregnant I am always very courteous to anything I say and wouldn't think to blurt out such a thing. Shame on me! I think at this point in the pregnancy 17 is sucking all the kindness out of me and keeping me real, lol.
I am working on the next post already and it is half way done so not to much longer of a wait :) This will finally be about the opposing views for what Ben and I are doing in our surrogacy journey and the amazing future plans for E, A, and the Buczynski family. :) I have to end this next post with something positive.
Love,
28 1/2 Weeks!
We had our 28 week appointment Tuesday for a two week check up and glucose testing. I did the normal pee in a cup routine and hopped on the scale. Ugh what a drag! I have been having major cravings this pregnancy and as much as I have behaved, I have also wandered if you will. Up 18 pounds so in 2 months I gained 10 more pounds. Ouch!!!! I am going to have to be very very good the remainder of this pregnancy to meet my under 30 goal. Only 12 weeks to go so I'm hoping for 1/2 pound a week or so. My blood pressure is great at 115/70 and baby 17's heartbeat is in the 140's (just like Ava's was!!) Maybe a girl???!
When this appointment was made I wasn't informed that I was supposed to wait around for an hour after to have my blood drawn (or maybe the baby brain set in and I forgot). I was scheduled to work at 10:45 when I needed to get blood work done at 11:05, yikes! I called around to co-workers to get someone to cover me until I could get there but before I heard a response I just drove the less than a mile distance, opened the restaurant, and then when my co-worker showed up took off quickly back to the hospital. There was a lot of running around for me that's for sure. When I got back to the hospital there was OF COURSE no parking so up to the very top of the parking garage I go! Walked down 5 flights of stairs and then afterward back up 5 flights of stairs. Wooooo Hooooo this girl is out of shape! I did pull off the walking up the stairs and texting at the same time though, bad bad bad!!! I kept telling myself not to fall as I slowly made my way up each step and texting E about the appointment. I haven't heard the glucose results yet so we will wait to see. I'm sure everything is perfect!
We will only have 2 more appointments in MI and then we are Chicago bound for the duration of the pregnancy! I never thought I would be saying that already but like I said, time is just flying by. That brings us to our delivery plans!!!!! I will begin going to Chicago for appointments starting our 34th week (May 22nd) and then we will have another OB check-up June 5th for our 36 week appointment. We are going to alternate doctors for every appointment in Chicago so that we see each doctor in the office. This is a precaution in case Dr. M isn't available when 17 decides to make their appearance. I think it is great we get to become familiar with each possible delivering OB and it makes me soooooo much more comfortable about going to a new place. From 36 weeks on we will begin appointment weekly instead of biweekly and E & A will be going to all of the Chicago appointments which will be an exciting change from what I've been used to in Michigan (going alone).
Dr. M discussed our options for delivery and told us that she would be willing to induce as early as week 39 if my body shows signs of being ready (dilating, contractions, 17's position). We all agreed that we like that option best so that we can try to plan 17's arrival as much as possible. Also, depending on the appointments for week 34 and 36 (great blood pressure and no signs of labor) I will be relocating to Chicago around week 37. I will be staying in an apartment only 1 block away from E & A and Ava will be going down with me for the 2-3 weeks. David will also be coming down to stay for week 38 :) We are all very excited for a little vacation. Unfortunately Ben will not be able to take the time off work so he will be joining us on his days off each week as we are going to attempt to schedule all his days off in a row. The light at the end of the tunnel is officially Friday, June 28th! We will be scheduled for an induction if all things go as planned and if not then we will be on 17's time frame. :) Oh it is so strange to know a date that E & A will hold their new edition!
Dr. M completely took all my worries away with being induced as I was induced with Ava and had a horrible experience. I was very reluctant to the idea at first because I really wanted to just go into labor on my own but I think this will be for best for all of us. The hospital we are delivering at is an all women's hospital that is always fully staffed and prepared for any type of situation imaginable so that I will never be on hold because another emergency came up. I have been promised that this is the best of the best hospitals and that I will get the most incredible care possible. It is interesting because I feel like I am getting better care with 17 not being my child than I did with my own. It is good to know I will be in good hands (:
Sleep - I've been tossing and turning this past week a lot! I wake up to every little noise but I'm only up to pee once a night. Poor Ben has to feel like he has an inch of space as I hog the bed in my crazy positions. ha! For some reason the most comfortable sleep position in on my left side with my legs straight out in front of me.
Cravings - I just feel soooooo hungry all the time!!! I feel like I never get full but I've been working on mind over matter. I always have to eat breakfast and I am now doing the Special K protein cereal in the mornings which actually makes me feel pretty satisfied. I have been skipping lunch because I work during that time so I have a small snack afterward to get me by until dinner. My problems are the late night cravings for anything sweet! The sour jolly ranger chews, 100 calorie pack blond brownies, ice-cream, slushys, tablespoon of frosting, hahaha okay I know it is beginning to get ridiculous.
Body Changes - You have seen the photo for proof that 17 is growing like crazy and weighs around 3-4 pounds at this point. I am smaller than I was with Ava at this point as far as weight gain so my belly looks big but I can still see my ribs and hip bones when I lean to the side, OH YA! My belly button is fully popped out officially, my hands are slightly swollen (but only by a 1/2 ring size), and my veins are big and unattractive from the blood flow working extra hard. I have no swelling in my ankles which is beautiful news to me so far because you could no longer see my leg formation I had so much water retention with Ava. I am not yet experiencing any random shooting pain down my leg or pelvic area from 17 kicking or laying on nerves. It seemed like my first pregnancy was full of those experiences along with charlie horses in my calves at night. So far nothing to complain about except a slight heavy feeling and my body going to sleep at random times in my arms, legs, and back. I do have a swollen lymph node in my pelvic area on the one side though so I start feeling pressure and discomfort after running around all day at work and with the kids.
Mood - I did say I was 28 weeks pregnant right? hehehe The mood seems to change a lot but not too hot and cold (says myself) :) I'm feeling motivation and happy but at the same time impatient and feisty. It has been a pattern lately with me not to think before I just blurt out my thoughts especially at work with my co-workers who I'm comfortable with (And some regular guests I might add...Okay maybe just one particular guest) I will refer to this guest as Mr. Grumpy Pants (nickname from muah) He has been coming in for years Monday through Friday mid-mornings so I've come to know him well. He doesn't take a lot of crap from others, always has something to complain about, and is very old in his ways of the role of a woman. He is constantly pestering me about getting in the kitchen, rattling pans, letting my husband take naps (but no naps for me builds character), etc. Just a plain ole ass sometimes, haha! I don't ever take him seriously and since this pregnancy I give his crap right back to him. My co-worker E thinks 17 is making me mean and here may be an example why, Tuesday I walked into work and there sits Mr. Grumpy Pants! I barely get 5 steps and he started on me ranting and raving, "Finally crawling out of bed and showing up for work, yada yada yada" (7am is not an early enough time for me to wake up) and before he could get the full sentence out I blurt out, "Shut the F*** Up". Not too loud and mostly in a cute high pitched tone but holy goodness did he start dying laughing, along with my co-workers E and D. Absolutely hilarious and random! They all told me (even him) that I need to stay pregnant because my behavior is hysterical. I wasn't going to admit this side of my mood but it seems appropriate because not being pregnant I am always very courteous to anything I say and wouldn't think to blurt out such a thing. Shame on me! I think at this point in the pregnancy 17 is sucking all the kindness out of me and keeping me real, lol.
I am working on the next post already and it is half way done so not to much longer of a wait :) This will finally be about the opposing views for what Ben and I are doing in our surrogacy journey and the amazing future plans for E, A, and the Buczynski family. :) I have to end this next post with something positive.
Love,
Monday, April 8, 2013
Gender Reveal in the Eyes of a Surrogate!!!
Relaxed! Finally I can say that word honestly. The kids are asleep and I just got out of a nice warm shower, what could be better right now? :) I'll tell you! Snuggled up on the couch with my hair wrapped in a towel enjoying a cherry slushy, now that makes things even better! It has been so difficult to get any type of motivation to write a new post these past two months. I thought I had no time when our daughter was7 months old and we were starting this journey but OH NO! Now, she is 15 months old and I am a busier momma than ever! She walks, runs, climbs, talks, throws tantrums, makes me laugh/smile, and on the go go go!! I am completely on the kids schedule now waking up early, while Ava naps I get house work done, go to work, make dinner, go to bed early no later than 11. Whew! My days are blending together and time has just flown by ----> literally!
We are now 28 weeks pregnant! WHAT!?
Before we start on the most recent events I am going to tell you about the last post I was supposed to write a month and a half ago, 17's Gender Reveal Appointment!!!!! February 21st was our big day to Chicago, our gender reveal ultrasound day, and A's birthday. Ben and I were excited to see E & A as a month had past since our last visit. Our trip was a little different this time as we decided to take the train down instead of driving so that morning we woke up extra early and drove to the train station about 15 minutes from our home. When we arrived we parked in the wrong parking lot so Ben went to move the SUV while I waited beside the train nervous and impatient. We had just minutes to spare and we had never been on a train before so my heart was pumping with nerves and excitement all at once.
We settled in quickly and for the first time on a Chicago trip, we relaxed. It was nice just to sit and talk without the hassle and stress of having to think about driving especially in the city. Ben was extremely exhausted with closing the restaurant the night before and only having 3-4 hours of sleep. Of course we were too anxious to sleep on the way there so Ben continued to feel tired the rest of the day, poor man. :( It was so overwhelming and interesting to start at the tiniest train station and end up in Chicago at a train station that was larger than I could have imagined. We had no idea where to go but we knew we both had to use the restroom so that is where we began. We went up many many escalators to get to the main street and made our way to street view to find an address to give E (She was the one picking us up). It was so nice hearing her voice on the phone as we planned our meet in this huge area. We were texting during the entire train ride giving her updates as to where we were and she planned her day around our arrival. We walked down one block and easily found her parked straight ahead. This was it! Ahhh it always makes it feel so real to be around E & A and this appointment was a major deal to all of us, even sleepy Benjamin. ;)
We drove back to their condo and from there walked to a little corner cafe for lunch to meet up with A who was getting out of work as well. Finally they were able to see our baby bump with proof that little 17 was growing like crazy. I wasn't sure how awkward it would be to see them in person with a slightly larger belly. For some reason I thought it might change things a little as far as reality truly kicking in for E that I am actually carrying their baby. I'll never know how it feels to not be able to carry my own child in pregnancy and what obstacles a person must overcome to accept help from another person, another woman at that. I know how women are especially when it comes to sensitive issues and I can only imagine a sense of jealousy may exist or emotional discomfort of some sort. I hadn't thought of things in that way until I started showing. E & A seem more happy and trusting than anything else but our ultrasound appointment wasn't what any of us expected!
We arrived and all sat in the waiting area while I filled out some paperwork. The door to the patients rooms opened and a voice called out, "Chelsea". There was an awkward pause of silence and I slightly looked around and said, "Does that mean all of us can come back?" Scenes how this baby is E & A's I felt so awkward that I was the one things were being directed to. We walked into a dimmed room which was such a bad sign that Ben was going to pass out during the ultrasound. I was surprised we were able to pry him off the couch in the waiting area, hehehe, I was so glad that E & A were completely understanding of his long hours at work and were not offended. A lady walked into our room and the experience just wasn't what any of us expected at all. She was very short when she said anything (not that she said much) and just didn't give us a warm and welcome kind of feel. E had to speak up and make sure she knew that I was their surrogate (which she did) just because she didn't seem at all interested in making the ultrasound about E & A.
We all watched the ultrasound on the large screen waiting for ultrasound tech to sound excited or let us know what it is we were looking at and not much of anything was said. A few times there would be a random blurt out in single words...."Kidney!" Whoa, okay?! Then when it came to looking at 17's face in 3D the little hand was blocking the view so without warning the ultrasound tech started shaking my belly as hard as she could with the hand held device. Can you say SHOCKED!!!? That was an understatement because I was absolutely terrified! I jumped and almost peed myself as ridiculous as it felt with her putting that much pressure on baby 17. I was dying laughing because that was all I could do to not punch this woman! hahahaha! Looking back it is hilarious because E & A had no idea what the heck just happening and Ben jumped out of his sleep real quick with all of them wondering why the heck she was tormenting me. Let me just say that she did this multiple times and by the end of the ultrasound I was so darn tensed up from head to toe just from anticipating the next crazy shake!!! Anyone who has been pregnant can tell you how uncomfortable it is to for one, to lay straight on your back for that long and for two, to have someone push on your stomach when a baby is pushing right back. I was lucky enough to experience both at the same time ;) Yayy! lol
When we came to the point in the ultrasound where it was time to find out the gender we all gracefully turned away in respect to E & A's decision to not find out the sex of 17. I know I know, everyone was looking forward to the big gender reveal but E & A are looking forward to this spectacular surprise! So far everything has been planned and mapped out to specifics for them and they feel this is the only thing that they really have to look forward to (as in not planned and being a surprise). Of course getting pregnant in general was surprising but E more than all of us I believe needs something just for herself to hold onto, something that is completely about her in a moment of time, and when 17 is born it is going to be the most incredible bond between mother and child. I think it is unique and movie-like of them to wait until the birth to find out, they have more patience than I could that's for sure! They have waited this long to get pregnant and plan for a child so what's a few more months for the ultimate surprise right!? Exciting for them!
Ben and I were clearly not thinking when we left Michigan in spring jackets and we learned our lesson as we walked however many blocks to our next appointment which was with our delivering OB. Buuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrr! It was interesting because on our walk Ben mentioned my love for milkways and how I may have went through an entire bag of them for Valentines Day (not all in one sitting of course). OMG Benjamin, how dare you tell on me! hehehe Turns out the receptionist desk had a massive bowl of candy on it so here comes E into the waiting room trying to hand me some mini milkways! hahahaha! Oh Jeez, I said absolutely not! I am trying to behave myself but they are so darn tempting and I refused to take them from her. The wait seemed to last forever but our OB is super busy and fully booked for months ahead of time. I suppose you can say I feel a little spoiled that E & A made sure we all had the best of the best doctors.
The OB appointment was a breath of fresh air! Whew, we all needed that talk with Dr. M (Our OB) and we all felt great during that appointment. Finally it was all about E & A, even though I was the one sitting on the dr. table. Dr. M started off the conversation saying what an awesome thing we are all doing and gave us all a huge congratulations! Now that is the way to make things feel all warm and friendly! Dr. M went over the ultrasound with us and let us know that everything was perfect for us being at 21 weeks. Baby 17 is beautifully healthy with some long legs ;) Aww, long legged 17 we all love you so much! Dr. M and all discussed delivery plans and answered all the questions we had which was such a relief to finally know the basic details. I am going to be bland about the plans for now but I promise to recap on the next post, this one is getting a little long ;) By the time we were done with the appointment it was time for Ben and I to get back to the train station so we decided to give our love and goodbyes and took a cab. ahhhhhhh!!!! No, more like AHHHHHHH! That cab ride was the scariest thing I have ever had to go through! Yes, even scarier than the ultrasound earlier in the day! I swear I lost count of how many times we almost died and I couldn't wait to get my feet on the sidewalk. Thank Goodness us and baby 17 are okay. Whew!
Finding our train wasn't too difficult after we asked for help so we waited in line and settled in again for the trip home. We ate dinner on the train, had good conversation, and tried to get a little rest from our long day. We were both just glad we didn't have to drive home because we were plain ole exhausted!
We have only 12 weeks to go until 17 arrives and things could not be better! I was up 8 pounds during our Chicago visit and I have another appointment this week on Thursday the 11th to see how much more I've gained. Guessing double! lol. This appointment will be for my glucose testing and I can't believe we are already at that milestone! Things have went by so quickly but that is because we have all kept ourselves so busy day to day. I can't believe our daughter is 15 months old now but you can only imagine why I stay so busy ;) Our son is all about baby 17 and is doing so well with understanding the amazing journey we have all taken with just being 7 years old. Ben is also doing very well as he was promoted at work, congrats Ben! He is settling into his role as a surrogate father (we call him) rubbing my belly and talking to baby 17, making me feel comfortable in my pregnancy body. Let me tell all of you that he is my rock and I could never have done this without all the support he has given me. He encourages me to live my dreams and he wants to be there every step of the way, even when he wasn't sure what his role was exactly toward the beginning of all this. He is a gift of a husband and I could not be more loved.
As far as right now I'm still sleeping well and just getting up one time a night for a potty break (that will soon turn to 2,3,4,5 times a night). I feel comfortable and still have all my energy so that is always good news. My veins are popping out as all the extra blood pumps through me and I have some slight swelling in my fingers but nothing to complain about just yet. I will be having to take my wedding ring off very soon though so that it does not get permanently stuck like it did with Ava's pregnancy. That was the absolute worst when I couldn't get my darn ring off and my fingers hurt so bad from all the water retention. I am working all mid-morning/afternoon shifts at work now Monday-Friday which is AMAZING! I have more time to think about school scheduling and I love having nights and weekends off with the kids. It makes for a much more stable routine and I wouldn't change it for anything! I graduate in May with my associates and I am starting my bachelors this summer with a plan to finish in 2 years! It is all very exciting!
Pictured at 26 weeks (:
As of today I have just seen the first tint of my linea nigra (belly vertical line). It is very faint but it is a good feeling and shows that baby 17 is growing like crazy and these hormones are still up and at em ;) I am still in the same size clothing except the pants no longer button ;) I have just a few maternity items but I'm planning on wearing mostly dresses when I get to my largest this June. Baby 17 kicks all day everyday but as soon as 11pm comes around it is ON and 17 moves the most at this time every day on target. I am carrying differently with 17 than I did with Ava though so I'm not sure if that is a sign that maybe 17 is a boy but it does makes me wonder. I'm carrying a little bit higher and 17 stays cramped up mostly on my right side making my belly look lopsided. ;)
I'm sure I will think of a billion more things I wanted to say but I will be sure to update the long lost thoughts I've had, that is what I get for waiting so long to write about things. Thank you all for the love and support you share! The next post will give you a little recent insight on some negativity I have encountered, the details of our delivery planning, how I am doing so far emotionally, and future plans for E, A, and the Buczynski family. :)
I love all of you!!!!
Monday, February 11, 2013
E & A's Visit!
On Sunday, January 20th, E & A came to our home for a friendly visit. We were all very excited for their arrival and I was my normal frantic self getting everything in order. I always get so darn nervous when we are going to meet with E & A and this time I took it out on the house cleaning/organization. I just always want to leave a great impression and it was much easier for us to show our true selves in our own setting. Their arrival was a breath of fresh air! The greeted us with hugs and gifts, the kids absolutely loved it!
We all sat talking and laughing while the kids played, warming up to the new faces. Ava loved E & A both as she kept sitting on E without hesitation throughout the visit and flirting with A loving every minute of him pretending to drink from her sippy. :) It was nice to be able to see them without the exhausting drive to Chicago although I did feel bad that they had to travel. They are extreme dog lovers so even Mya, our yellow lab, got along with them well. She was not shy at all especially when it came to sharing her shedding hair, ugh!
We had lunch together -----> Lasagna! After our late lunch we were able to discuss delivery and the upcoming weeks of pregnancy. It is sooooo scary and exciting at the same time that delivery, yes I said DELIVERY is already coming up in conversation. Here we are 20 weeks pregnant and that blows my mind! We started our journey last May and I never imagined we would be delivering our IP's baby around the same time the next year. Time is flying by and before I know it, I will be looking at E & A holding their precious 17, going back home to recover.
You may have noticed I referred to the baby as 17! ;) E emailed me shortly after their visit about a nickname to call the baby during pregnancy. At this point we were almost 17 weeks and she completely caught me off guard with their idea. Baby's nickname is 17! It may seem strange but two embryos were transferred into my uterus on October 13th and they were numbered to keep track of them throughout their progression. The fertility clinic chose embryos 1 and 7 to transfer. Since both embryos did not take, E & A only felt right that this baby would be called 17 throughout the pregnancy because to them baby 17 is a little part of embryos 1 and 7. It makes my eyes water just thinking about it because 17 is my lucky number, it just makes me feel like this was all meant to be for me. I have the most amazing supportive husband, family, and friends and I could have never done it without them. It is the most amazing thing I have ever done and possibly could ever do. ♥
Whew! Now that I have teary eyes ----> Can you say emotional!!! As I was saying, we are talking about the delivery process and beginning to plan for those last few weeks. We are going to start by going down to Chicago February 21st to meet with our delivering OB and to get familiar with the facility along with their staff. This is going to be a very exciting trip because we will also find out the gender of 17!!!!!! It will be a nice change of pace with this appointment since we will be taking the train letting us relax a little on the way there and back. This will be the longest trip so far being in Chicago the entire day with our train ride starting at 10am and ending at 10pm. I will definitely be missing my little girl!
Feeling...........Fantastic!!!!!! I haven't had any headaches since week 16, I have tons of energy ( although I still love my sleep (: ), I feel 17 kick all day everyday, no discomforts at this point, I love the smell of foods, my body is continually changing/stretching, my skin is awesome, I am still fitting in my pre-pregnancy clothing Yayyy, and I am not sure about any recent weight gain but I will have that update next week at our appointment. Still hoping to keep it under 35 pounds so it is not as hard to lose it in the end. I have a new belly photo to share!!!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSZJvelhFrYuKrgGgNUR5LsnRFgVpILDY0Lqxq6S7QnNDm5KJ3BcwsV2bH4A3MKDA2VnXfNpraoev5DslSV-FzRjZ-VpTGEByijox42wv40lptKdzdeQ7y15cmXigVBWofOBsw3bHTHtDZ/s320/SAM_0630.JPG)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuK_0wu21f-CSlwep5jmsXKABlycg2b9AphieYwj1ut5EXLq_8pC-uXnkEUWZz8bP_0fbhxBsJw6dnjULJ5pW6XwYs9NGLyxtN2M6-QIeLFyDZF5Ab96On_T-CIEvgtK4vH6ARlh0rsTSP/s320/SAM_0631.JPG)
19 1/2 Weeks
Starting to notice the belly bump through clothing but it is much more noticeable when I lift the outer layers :)
Baby 17 kicks away! I have been feeling small movement since week 15 and now at week 20 not only can I feel 17 move but now others can too. The kicks get stronger and stronger every week with us being able to see them as I sit very still watching my belly jump around. Ava has a new fasination with lifting mommy's shirt pointing at the belly button :) Too Cute.
I am loving being pregnant!!!!
xoxoxoxo,
We all sat talking and laughing while the kids played, warming up to the new faces. Ava loved E & A both as she kept sitting on E without hesitation throughout the visit and flirting with A loving every minute of him pretending to drink from her sippy. :) It was nice to be able to see them without the exhausting drive to Chicago although I did feel bad that they had to travel. They are extreme dog lovers so even Mya, our yellow lab, got along with them well. She was not shy at all especially when it came to sharing her shedding hair, ugh!
We had lunch together -----> Lasagna! After our late lunch we were able to discuss delivery and the upcoming weeks of pregnancy. It is sooooo scary and exciting at the same time that delivery, yes I said DELIVERY is already coming up in conversation. Here we are 20 weeks pregnant and that blows my mind! We started our journey last May and I never imagined we would be delivering our IP's baby around the same time the next year. Time is flying by and before I know it, I will be looking at E & A holding their precious 17, going back home to recover.
You may have noticed I referred to the baby as 17! ;) E emailed me shortly after their visit about a nickname to call the baby during pregnancy. At this point we were almost 17 weeks and she completely caught me off guard with their idea. Baby's nickname is 17! It may seem strange but two embryos were transferred into my uterus on October 13th and they were numbered to keep track of them throughout their progression. The fertility clinic chose embryos 1 and 7 to transfer. Since both embryos did not take, E & A only felt right that this baby would be called 17 throughout the pregnancy because to them baby 17 is a little part of embryos 1 and 7. It makes my eyes water just thinking about it because 17 is my lucky number, it just makes me feel like this was all meant to be for me. I have the most amazing supportive husband, family, and friends and I could have never done it without them. It is the most amazing thing I have ever done and possibly could ever do. ♥
Whew! Now that I have teary eyes ----> Can you say emotional!!! As I was saying, we are talking about the delivery process and beginning to plan for those last few weeks. We are going to start by going down to Chicago February 21st to meet with our delivering OB and to get familiar with the facility along with their staff. This is going to be a very exciting trip because we will also find out the gender of 17!!!!!! It will be a nice change of pace with this appointment since we will be taking the train letting us relax a little on the way there and back. This will be the longest trip so far being in Chicago the entire day with our train ride starting at 10am and ending at 10pm. I will definitely be missing my little girl!
Feeling...........Fantastic!!!!!! I haven't had any headaches since week 16, I have tons of energy ( although I still love my sleep (: ), I feel 17 kick all day everyday, no discomforts at this point, I love the smell of foods, my body is continually changing/stretching, my skin is awesome, I am still fitting in my pre-pregnancy clothing Yayyy, and I am not sure about any recent weight gain but I will have that update next week at our appointment. Still hoping to keep it under 35 pounds so it is not as hard to lose it in the end. I have a new belly photo to share!!!
19 1/2 Weeks
Starting to notice the belly bump through clothing but it is much more noticeable when I lift the outer layers :)
Baby 17 kicks away! I have been feeling small movement since week 15 and now at week 20 not only can I feel 17 move but now others can too. The kicks get stronger and stronger every week with us being able to see them as I sit very still watching my belly jump around. Ava has a new fasination with lifting mommy's shirt pointing at the belly button :) Too Cute.
I am loving being pregnant!!!!
xoxoxoxo,
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