Gender Reveal in the Eyes of a Surrogate!!!

Relaxed! Finally I can say that word honestly. The kids are asleep and I just got out of a nice warm shower, what could be better right now? :) I'll tell you! Snuggled up on the couch with my hair wrapped in a towel enjoying a cherry slushy, now that makes things even better! It has been so difficult to get any type of motivation to write a new post these past two months. I thought I had no time when our daughter was7 months old and we were starting this journey but OH NO! Now, she is 15 months old and I am a busier momma than ever! She walks, runs, climbs, talks, throws tantrums, makes me laugh/smile, and on the go go go!! I am completely on the kids schedule now waking up early, while Ava naps I get house work done, go to work, make dinner, go to bed early no later than 11. Whew! My days are blending together and time has just flown by ----> literally!

             We are now 28 weeks pregnant! WHAT!?

 

Before we start on the most recent events I am going to tell you about the last post I was supposed to write a month and a half ago, 17's Gender Reveal Appointment!!!!! February 21st was our big day to Chicago, our gender reveal ultrasound day, and A's birthday. Ben and I were excited to see E & A as a month had past since our last visit. Our trip was a little different this time as we decided to take the train down instead of driving so that morning we woke up extra early and drove to the train station about 15 minutes from our home. When we arrived we parked in the wrong parking lot so Ben went to move the SUV while I waited beside the train nervous and impatient. We had just minutes to spare and we had never been on a train before so my heart was pumping with nerves and excitement all at once.

 

 

 

We settled in quickly and for the first time on a Chicago trip, we relaxed. It was nice just to sit and talk without the hassle and stress of having to think about driving especially in the city. Ben was extremely exhausted with closing the restaurant the night before and only having 3-4 hours of sleep. Of course we were too anxious to sleep on the way there so Ben continued to feel tired the rest of the day, poor man. :( It was so overwhelming and interesting to start at the tiniest train station and end up in Chicago at a train station that was larger than I could have imagined. We had no idea where to go but we knew we both had to use the restroom so that is where we began. We went up many many escalators to get to the main street and made our way to street view to find an address to give E (She was the one picking us up). It was so nice hearing her voice on the phone as we planned our meet in this huge area. We were texting during the entire train ride giving her updates as to where we were and she planned her day around our arrival. We walked down one block and easily found her parked straight ahead. This was it! Ahhh it always makes it feel so real to be around E & A and this appointment was a major deal to all of us, even sleepy Benjamin. ;)

 

We drove back to their condo and from there walked to a little corner cafe for lunch to meet up with A who was getting out of work as well. Finally they were able to see our baby bump with proof that little 17 was growing like crazy. I wasn't sure how awkward it would be to see them in person with a slightly larger belly. For some reason I thought it might change things a little as far as reality truly kicking in for E that I am actually carrying their baby. I'll never know how it feels to not be able to carry my own child in pregnancy and what obstacles a person must overcome to accept help from another person, another woman at that. I know how women are especially when it comes to sensitive issues and I can only imagine a sense of jealousy may exist or emotional discomfort of some sort. I hadn't thought of things in that way until I started showing. E & A seem more happy and trusting than anything else but our ultrasound appointment wasn't what any of us expected!

 

We arrived and all sat in the waiting area while I filled out some paperwork. The door to the patients rooms opened and a voice called out, "Chelsea". There was an awkward pause of silence and I slightly looked around and said, "Does that mean all of us can come back?" Scenes how this baby is E & A's I felt so awkward that I was the one things were being directed to. We walked into a dimmed room which was such a bad sign that Ben was going to pass out during the ultrasound. I was surprised we were able to pry him off the couch in the waiting area, hehehe, I was so glad that E & A were completely understanding of his long hours at work and were not offended. A lady walked into  our room and the experience just wasn't what any of us expected at all. She was very short when she said anything (not that she said much) and just didn't give us a warm and welcome kind of feel. E had to speak up and make sure she knew that I was their surrogate (which she did) just because she didn't seem at all interested in making the ultrasound about E & A.

 

We all watched the ultrasound on the large screen waiting for ultrasound tech to sound excited or let us know what it is we were looking at and not much of anything was said. A few times there would be a random blurt out in single words...."Kidney!" Whoa, okay?! Then when it came to looking at 17's face in 3D the little hand was blocking the view so without warning the ultrasound tech started shaking my belly as hard as she could with the hand held device. Can you say SHOCKED!!!? That was an understatement because I was absolutely terrified! I jumped and almost peed myself as ridiculous as it felt with her putting that much pressure on baby 17. I was dying laughing because that was all I could do to not punch this woman! hahahaha! Looking back it is hilarious because E & A had no idea what the heck just happening and Ben jumped out of his sleep real quick with all of them wondering why the heck she was tormenting me. Let me just say that she did this multiple times and by the end of the ultrasound I was so darn tensed up from head to toe just from anticipating the next crazy shake!!! Anyone who has been pregnant can tell you how uncomfortable it is to for one, to lay straight on your back for that long and for two, to have someone push on your stomach when a baby is pushing right back. I was lucky enough to experience both at the same time ;) Yayy! lol

 

When we came to the point in the ultrasound where it was time to find out the gender we all gracefully turned away in respect to E & A's decision to not find out the sex of 17. I know I know, everyone was looking forward to the big gender reveal but E & A are looking forward to this spectacular surprise! So far everything has been planned and mapped out to specifics for them and they feel this is the only thing that they really have to look forward to (as in not planned and being a surprise). Of course getting pregnant in general was surprising but E more than all of us I believe needs something just for herself to hold onto, something that is completely about her in a moment of time, and when 17 is born it is going to be the most incredible bond between mother and child. I think it is unique and movie-like of them to wait until the birth to find out, they have more patience than I could that's for sure! They have waited this long to get pregnant and plan for a child so what's a few more months for the ultimate surprise right!? Exciting for them!

 

Ben and I were clearly not thinking when we left Michigan in spring jackets and we learned our lesson as we walked however many blocks to our next appointment which was with our delivering OB. Buuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrr! It was interesting because on our walk Ben mentioned my love for milkways and how I may have went through an entire bag of them for Valentines Day (not all in one sitting of course). OMG Benjamin, how dare you tell on me! hehehe Turns out the receptionist desk had a massive bowl of candy on it so here comes E into the waiting room trying to hand me some mini milkways! hahahaha! Oh Jeez, I said absolutely not! I am trying to behave myself but they are so darn tempting and I refused to take them from her. The wait seemed to last forever but our OB is super busy and fully booked for months ahead of time. I suppose you can say I feel a little spoiled that E & A made sure we all had the best of the best doctors.

 

The OB appointment was a breath of fresh air! Whew, we all needed that talk with Dr. M (Our OB) and we all felt great during that appointment. Finally it was all about E & A, even though I was the one sitting on the dr. table. Dr. M started off the conversation saying what an awesome thing we are all doing and gave us all a huge congratulations! Now that is the way to make things feel all warm and friendly! Dr. M went over the ultrasound with us and let us know that everything was perfect for us being at 21 weeks. Baby 17 is beautifully healthy with some long legs ;) Aww, long legged 17 we all love you so much! Dr. M and all discussed delivery plans and answered all the questions we had which was such a relief to finally know the basic details. I am going to be bland about the plans for now but I promise to recap on the next post, this one is getting a little long ;) By the time we were done with the appointment it was time for Ben and I to get back to the train station so we decided to give our love and goodbyes and took a cab. ahhhhhhh!!!! No, more like AHHHHHHH! That cab ride was the scariest thing I have ever had to go through! Yes, even scarier than the ultrasound earlier in the day! I swear I lost count of how many times we almost died and I couldn't wait to get my feet on the sidewalk. Thank Goodness us and baby 17 are okay. Whew!

 

Finding our train wasn't too difficult after we asked for help so we waited in line and settled in again for the trip home. We ate dinner on the train, had good conversation, and tried to get a little rest from our long day. We were both just glad we didn't have to drive home because we were plain ole exhausted!

 

We have only 12 weeks to go until 17 arrives and things could not be better! I was up 8 pounds during our Chicago visit and I have another appointment this week on Thursday the 11th to see how much more I've gained. Guessing double! lol. This appointment will be for my glucose testing and I can't believe we are already at that milestone! Things have went by so quickly but that is because we have all kept ourselves so busy day to day. I can't believe our daughter is 15 months old now but you can only imagine why I stay so busy ;) Our son is all about baby 17 and is doing so well with understanding the amazing journey we have all taken with just being 7 years old. Ben is also doing very well as he was promoted at work, congrats Ben! He is settling into his role as a surrogate father (we call him) rubbing my belly and talking to baby 17, making me feel comfortable in my pregnancy body. Let me tell all of you that he is my rock and I could never have done this without all the support he has given me. He encourages me to live my dreams and he wants to be there every step of the way, even when he wasn't sure what his role was exactly toward the beginning of all this. He is a gift of a husband and I could not be more loved.

 

As far as right now I'm still sleeping well and just getting up one time a night for a potty break (that will soon turn to 2,3,4,5 times a night). I feel comfortable and still have all my energy so that is always good news. My veins are popping out as all the extra blood pumps through me and I have some slight swelling in my fingers but nothing to complain about just yet. I will be having to take my wedding ring off very soon though so that it does not get permanently stuck like it did with Ava's pregnancy. That was the absolute worst when I couldn't get my darn ring off and my fingers hurt so bad from all the water retention. I am working all mid-morning/afternoon shifts at work now Monday-Friday which is AMAZING! I have more time to think about school scheduling and I love having nights and weekends off with the kids. It makes for a much more stable routine and I wouldn't change it for anything! I graduate in May with my associates and I am starting my bachelors this summer with a plan to finish in 2 years! It is all very exciting!

 

Pictured at 26 weeks (:

 

As of today I have just seen the first tint of my linea nigra (belly vertical line). It is very faint but it is a good feeling and shows that baby 17 is growing like crazy and these hormones are still up and at em ;) I am still in the same size clothing except the pants no longer button ;) I have just a few maternity items but I'm planning on wearing mostly dresses when I get to my largest this June. Baby 17 kicks all day everyday but as soon as 11pm comes around it is ON and 17 moves the most at this time every day on target. I am carrying differently with 17 than I did with Ava though so I'm not sure if that is a sign that maybe 17 is a boy but it does makes me wonder. I'm carrying a little bit higher and 17 stays cramped up mostly on my right side making my belly look lopsided. ;)

 

I'm sure I will think of a billion more things I wanted to say but I will be sure to update the long lost thoughts I've had, that is what I get for waiting so long to write about things. Thank you all for the love and support you share! The next post will give you a little recent insight on some negativity I have encountered, the details of our delivery planning, how I am doing so far emotionally, and future plans for E, A, and the Buczynski family. :)

 

I love all of you!!!!