A Match Made...Surrogacy Style!

Lately, there have been many questions from our peers and co-workers about our surrogacy journey. People are curious and it is a way for them to understand or to learn more about the general idea of surrogacy so I am fully on board with answering most questions. The initial shock that I see in most people when we tell them what we are doing amazes me. It is not so much that people do not know that surrogacy exists but mostly that they never thought they would know someone who wants to do it. Here is a question I have been asked recently:

How do you choose a family? This is such a great question but it does not work the same way for every family/surrogate. This answer is only based on my personal experience and does not reflect on surrogacy experiences as a whole. The ultimate beginning goal for either intended parents (IP's) or surrogates is to find a match. Matching can take several weeks to several months or longer all depending on what the IP's or surrogates are looking for.

Income has a factor on what type of experience you will have with finding the right match. Lower budget families may decide to build their profile online listing their desires for their ideal surrogate. They will sometimes post their life story of infertility and tell a little about what type of person they are wanting to share their experience with. From there on they will talk to surrogates who will respond to their profile and that will continue until they decide who fits best with them. It almost works the same with higher budget families only they typically go through an agency who acts as a mediator/matchmaker. An agency will direct them to profiles that best fit what they are looking for so they are not going through the matching process alone.

 We chose to go through an agency. We wanted to make sure all the bases were covered legally because lets face it, the internet is a scary place when it comes to putting your trust into other people! There was no way I was going to risk the safety of myself and my family. As we were researching being surrogate parents I started an online profile just to get some questions answered from experienced surrogates. While asking questions there were so many IP's trying to get me to match with them, drive 15 hours to see them, send them personal information, and because of all that there was no way I was doing this alone. Being with an agency for us has been extremely helpful! They have been so wonderful to us, answering all of our questions, matching us quickly, and treating us with respect. As a surrogate I reviewed one profile, the family I am matched with now, and it immediately felt right. We were accepted by our agency, reviewed one profile, met our IP's, and matched with them all in one month! It took a couple weeks for the agency to go through our application and accept us then only a couple of weeks to get matched. Whoa! That was as simple and quick as I could have ever imagined it being. Our experience with matching was absolutely wonderful!

The best way to find a family is to know what you want out of your experience. We wrote down all the qualities we would want our IP's to have so that this journey could go as positive and wonderful as possible. I think it was more simple for us to be matched right away because of how open minded we are. We did not have a specific ethnicity, religion, or sexuality that our IP's had to have. We wanted IP's who were loving, respectful, motivated, positive, have a healthy and stable lifestyle while being financially ready to care for a child. When we officially met our IP's, other than the initial awkwardness, it was easy to talk to them and I felt good about helping them have a baby. I say awkwardness but it was more like a nervous sympathy. It has to be heartbreaking to not be able to carry your own baby and to put your trust into some other woman to care for them. I feel like that was the awkward part, to have to look this amazing woman in the eye and tell her why I would be the perfect surrogate knowing that she can not be pregnant. For IP's everywhere, I can't imagine how unbelievable it is to hear a person say they loved being pregnant when your experiences are so traumatizing. Hearing their story and even describing to them why we want to do this made me so emotional with happiness that I busted a few tears during the meeting! Embarrassing I know! Then again, it makes me realize that this is right for us and that we could not make a bigger difference in a family's life.

On a less emotional note, we are keeping our pre-screening date of August 9th! Exciting! I have no doubts that Ms. Uterus will be looking her best and that we will do great with our psychological evaluation. Also, I will hopefully get to spend some time with our intended mother (IM).

My mirena has officially been removed and it only makes this experience feel that much more realistic. Although Ben isn't exactly crazy about being more cautious he is being very wonderful at doing all he can to make sure everything goes perfectly with our journey and that includes not getting ourselves pregnant between now and the transfer. We have been told that the transfer date should be around the end of September! Eeeeeeekkkkkk! I can't believe it is all coming together and I have fingers crossed for the best results in Chicago!

Random Thoughts: In the process of revamping my diet and getting that on track again before this pregnancy. I do not want to gain more than 30 pounds this time around and I will be working hard at keeping my portions at a healthy level. I worked my butt off to get my weight back down and I do not want to have to work as hard next time.

Until next time (:

A Dream to a Reality - For Both Families!

I am a firm supporter of the Baby Bullet and think it is possibly the best baby accessory I own, besides my daughter Ava's jumperoo (She would never forgive me if I ever took her jumperoo away from her). We went to Ava's 6 month check-up appointment yesterday and our doctor gave us the go to start experimenting with most fruits and vegetables. We have been slowly introducing the low-risk allergy foods to her since she was 4 months old but have been very anxious to try some new things.

Being my day off Ava and I took a little shopping trip to Meijer to gather all different sorts of yummy goodness! I am so shocked at how wonderful Meijer's produce is compared to Wal-Mart! This was my official first grocery trip to Meijer because I have been stuck in my ways and chose not to wander outside my element a little. I am glad I did! Although, it was difficult finding things because I am not familiar with the layout and they were under some sort of store wide construction. Great timing I know! I left with an abundance of fruits and vegetables and here goes the fun yet boring list :)

Green Beans
Broccoli
Peaches
Yellow Squash
Pears
Blueberries
Strawberries
Grapes
Plums
Pineapple
Avocado
Bananas
Apples
Mango
Papaya
Kiwi
Carrots
Sweet Potatoes

Whew! I swear the woman at our check out thought I was psycho! All she said was, "you sure do eat healthy!" hehehehe Then she saw the giant package of Coke behind it all for my husband Ben! Too Funny! I came right home and began blending everything that was ripe and separating each thing in individual containers. I had Ben run to the store to get even more containers because I had so much stuff and needed more room! Lets just say that Ava eats better than the whole family and now we have over a months worth stocked up and ready to go!

The moral of this story and how it ties into our journey is that I realize coming out of this pregnancy that I will not be getting up every 2 hours, changing diapers, or preparing Baby Bullet food. Coming home we will be without a baby and with the best memories of our experience. In the end we will know that this is all for such an amazing family and we helped make a difference in their life. It will definitely be quite the change of pace. Ben is beginning to wonder what I would do if I had absolutely nothing to do. I always have 5 things going on at once and yet it seems to all run extremely smooth while things just go into place.

I sit here, writing this "diary" if you will, while the kids are sound asleep in their rooms and I just feel so happy more so blessed to have them. David and Ava sleep in all types of crazy positions and watching them toss and turn their way through their dreams leads me to want to help this family even more! This family is incredibly deserving to have their own biological child and I feel so awesome that I am apart of them having just that!

More News: Our pre-screening date will be moving up a little sooner than August 9th! Our IP's are very anxious to get things done as soon as possible and have helped us get with the clinic and move up our date. We will not know the new appointment date until Monday but are very excited to get all of this set up and to get me ready for the big transfer day!

Have a great weekend everyone!

The Perfect Beginning!

Hi everyone! I just have to say that I feel extremely blessed that this journey has come into play so quickly. One day we are merely thinking about being surrogate parents and the next day we are going to be surrogate parents! It is exhilarating! Between the time of putting in our application with our agency, being accepting, interviewing over skype, reviewing one profile, and meeting the very same couple we are MATCHED! Already?! One month later and Here We Are! We are very thankful and appreciative for our lucky agency friends to have set us up with our wonderful IP's!

This couple could not be more of what we were looking for. They are smart, dedicated, and simply respectful! They have made this journey so far about us as a whole and it is so nice to be appreciated. They want to be involved to support us throughout the pregnancy but are putting the safety of their child in our hands (my body) and trusting us while we all continue on with our daily lives. Lets face it, life gets busy and chaotic so they will not be able to be their for every visit but they are already so good to me. She e-mails me regularly and checks to see how we are doing and I'm not even pregnant yet. What a beautiful person! She is also making time out of her daily working schedule to come to our pre-screening appointment.

That's right, we have our official appointment date! August 9th! I am going to their fertility clinic for my medical and psychological pre-screening. My nurse has explained that this appointment involves a uterine ultrasound to make sure things are looking perfect, blood work, a psychologist consult to make sure Ben and I are fully prepared for our journey, and a time for us to be able to sit and go over the medical process and ask questions. Ben and I are looking forward to meeting with our couple again and forming a close bond because what can make two families closer than helping them have their own child? Beats Me! I am happy all of this has come together so wonderfully and I am looking forward to our 3 hour trip to the clinic.


I will keep you updated... (:

First Time GS - Let Our Journey Begin!

I have always thought of surrogacy as a gift and that it takes a very special person to give such an amazing gift or miracle rather. My husband Ben and I have only been researching the option of surrogacy for a short time but within that time we have found that this feels right for us. We are both excited for this journey as we start the process of helping a couple have a child of their own. It is a true honor to carry a child and to give that child a safe home until they are able to go home with their parents.

As far as the basics of surrogacy go I wanted to share a little information so there is no confusion along the way reading our blog. There are two types of surrogates: Traditional and Gestational. Traditional is where the surrogates eggs are used and the child is biologically related to her. Gestational is where the child has absolutely no biological connection to the surrogate and has the genetic makeup of the intended parents, also known as the IP’s. I will be a gestational surrogate (GS)and this baby will only be carried by me, it will not be my baby. Once a surrogate and IP’s meet they then decide whether that surrogate is what they are looking for in a person who will carry their child for them. If they agree to continue on with one another it is a match and the process of surrogacy begins.

 Whoa! Where did wanting to be a surrogate come from? Out of left field right? I have developed an interested in the surrogacy process since having my daughter Ava, watching movies about it, and doing a little research here or there but nothing serious. I began reading the blogs of surrogates and started doing even more research getting involved in the process and how things worked. The truth is I cried, every time I read one, hearing these women stories touched me on such a deeper level than I ever thought imaginable. It made me become more interested so I kept reading and moved to the blogs of intended parents through surrogacy. I felt so connected to these people and knew right away that I am meant to be a surrogate. As far as questions and concerns, of course we had plenty of them. We have been very blessed in having a very helpful support group to ask us and to answer any questions we have.

 I found that many surrogates were attempting to find IP’s on their own and without guidance. I was fortunate enough to find an amazing agency to represent me and to help be through the process to keep things safe for my family.Ben and I started getting very serious about being surrogate parents and inquired with an application the end of May. We never expected things to work this fast but as of July 1st,we are MATCHED! This past weekend we were able to meet our first couple and it just so happened to be that we were the first surrogate parents they were meeting. It could not have gone more perfect meeting them and hearing their story face to face. After everything they have went through to have their own child and now I am here for them to help and share in their journey.

As surrogate parents we expect a certain degree of difficulty involving many things throughout our journey and will take each challenge one step at a time. We are going into this knowing that this amazing gift involved will not be coming home with us in the end. The emotional attachment and raging feelings will just be a part of the experience and I know that in the end these amazing people get to have the family they have been dreaming of. That alone makes everything well worth it.

Ben and I have made our own decision to have our IP’s be involved during the pregnancy. We understand that not everyone may agree and that is your choice but we choose to see this experience as a positive one and plan on keeping it that way. This blog is for those who are interested or curious and a way for us to be open about our thoughts and feelings.


FAQ’s so far to us:


· “How could you give up your baby?” “I could never give my baby away”

This baby will not be mine to give away and I will only be carrying the baby because my body is the safest alternative to the intended mothers. I am not giving my baby away. I am returning the baby to their loving family and they are going to have a happy life. I feel this is the very opposite of a negative thing and is a very unselfish thing to help another family have a chance to have their own.

· “How much do you get paid?”

 This is not something I am willing or able to disclose. I love being pregnant and I am happy to help another deserving family have their own. My take is that no money in the world could ever compensate for such a miracle. If you put into place a full time great jobs annual salary and then a surrogates’ compensation, it doesn’t come close to matching. Let’s face it, being pregnant is a full time job and a year worth commitment after it is all said and done.


 “Why do you want to be a surrogate?”

 Everyone has the initial question “Why?” and I say Why Not!? I am healthy and have the perfect home for a baby to grow in for a deserving family that dreams of having their own baby. I had a great pregnancy and I am a caring person who loves to make people happy. It is a beautiful thing, it is a way for me to give back in a huge way, and I feel that I am meant to do this. This gives me the ability to make a difference in someone’s life. I love seeing myself in my daughter when I look at her and it feels great knowing I can give that to another family. I am a surrogate mother and I am happy to be one!

  Thanks for reading ... Let this blogging journey begin!