The last post I wrote ended while I was still in labor with 17. It has been 6 weeks post delivery and I am now ready to tell this magnificent story! I apologize for keeping everyone waiting so long, I've updated my Facebook weekly about the surrogacy but time has just gotten away from me with my blog posts.
June 28th, 2013 Our Birth Story!
39 1/2 weeks!
Rocking the pink nail polish! E and I went for a mani/pedi the day before to relax and focus on how far we have all come. Last year, this time, Ben and I had a 6 year old and a 6 month old. We were looking to buy a home and working our way up the employment ladder pursuing better jobs. We knew we wanted to be surrogate parents and we were looking for that perfect match! E & A were at the lowest point in their lives and couldn't imagine a positive outcome for themselves to have a family. A decision they never saw themselves having to make was now their only option if they wanted to have a biological child. They were looking for the perfect woman to be the gestational carrier for their child. Things had been so bad for them emotionally that it was difficult for them to be positive, all they could do was hope and pray that everything would work out for the best. Now we are all here together, in the delivery room, ready to have this baby, THEIR BABY! What an amazing journey that none of us seen happening so fast.
I was induced bright and early on Friday morning around 4am. I was already having contractions without knowing 2-5 minutes apart and the hospital just helped make them stronger, MUCH stronger. They put me on Pitocin making contractions 2-4 minutes apart and I could feel them now! We all stayed in the room and just waited for the contractions to continue to dilate my cervix. I had my IV in and the start of labor became very annoying to all of us with my darn machine continuing to beep out of control. It kept saying there was an error but there were too many bubbles in the IV line so they ended up getting all of that fixed so we didn't have to listen to that horrible sound. We were all told continuously to get some rest but how in the world can any of us sleep with all this excitement!
I wanted to walk around 10am and they told me they would break my water soon after. I told myself I was having this baby today, it hurts but it's so worth it. My contractions kept coming and got strong enough for me to really start focusing on my breathing to get through them. E & A's families were both at the hospital showing their support and making the experience as great as possible. They kept telling me how great I looked for being in labor and thanking me for going through all of this for them. I did cry a couple times but only for brief periods. It tends to make me emotional when I here thanks for something so important. I focused on eating my crushed ice and listening to all the stories everyone came in and out of the room. You would think it would have been awkward having people I had only just met in with me during labor but it was soothing. E's mom really touched my heart and it is hard to explain but I felt as much her daughter as E was. Between A's dads crazy stories about comedians and E's mom forgetting her own name when the OB asked, it was never a dull moment which made the time pass by extremely quick.
I always knew what it meant to E and A for me to carry 17 but I don't think I thought as hard about how much it meant to their entire family until this day. Seeing all of their faces and watching them care for and love E & A just by being their with their support really hit home for me. I knew how loved 17 would be before meeting their families but after meeting them I knew 17 was the most blessed baby in the world to have this family!
As planned they broke my water (which hurt extremely bad!) The baby's head was already very far down so they were having difficulty breaking my bag. I didn't get that big gush feeling afterward like I had with Ava's water being broken but they didn't want me to go through any more torture at that point so they were going to give me an epidural (as requested) and if needed break my water. I was scared because they didn't allow anyone to be in the room during the epidural and last time I relied on Ben to get me through it but my nurse was absolutely amazing! Turns out that E was the nurses daughters pediatrician. Small world but she truly made our experience incredible! Our nurse came in to the room around 2:30 to see how my labor was progressing. I felt much different and noticed quite a bit of pressure coming down. She was supposed to go deliver another baby if I wasn't ready and she made it clear that she really wanted to deliver me and be there with all of us during this special time. I insisted I was ready to go (even though I wasn't sure) so it may have gotten her out of that other delivery and kept her with us ;)
Every time our OB came to check on us I was progressing very well and never expected her to tell us I was at an 8. We were all surprised and it made things very very real! Baby 17 was coming and SOON! She would come in and tell us exactly where I should be and what to expect around the times she told us and it was always right on. The time she told us I would be ready for an epidural was exact. The time she told us she would break my water was exact. She came in to see how I was feeling because she had another patient that was ready for delivery. She made sure that I was still comfortable and not ready to push before she was unavailable for a short period. She told us she would be right in after that delivery and she was right on time. She came in and I was ready to get this pushing process started!
E & A were both tucked in the back on my right side while Ben was right by my side. Our nurse asked E if she would rather be right next to me on my left side. I think she was hesitate at first because she wanted to respect my privacy but I insisted both of them were next me. This may seem strange to my readers but truly at this point I was ready and didn't care who was watching, lol! This was their baby and absolutely I felt they had the right to see their baby being born. I was not uncomfortable in the least, they are both doctors for one (I'm sure they have seen it all), this experience for me was looked at in such a beautiful way and I wanted them there! I wanted E to experience everything I did (in a different way because that is impossible) but if I needed to squeeze a hand, I wanted it to be hers! I had Ben on my right holding my leg and E on my left holding my leg with A next to her supporting us all the way. I'm at a 10 at this point and it is time! I feel a huge pressure telling me to push and as soon as that contraction came I was pushing. It took a couple tries to really get my positioning down for the best possible pushes but between my OB coaching me, Ben's calm voice counting, and E & A making me laugh we all had it down! The labor and delivery was relaxing and that has never been a word described to me from any woman giving birth. "This should not be possible" is what I was thinking during this whole 1/2 day. There is no way I should not be feeling any pain and there is no way everything is going perfect! This is blowing my mind but hey I'm just pushing out a baby having these thoughts, LOL!
It seemed like minutes between contractions during the pushing, I almost thought labor was stopping and then another contraction would come right around the corner and I would push again. I had the best team beside me! It was time to push to again and here is E next to me saying "milkyways...... gummy worms.....champagne......." hahaha! It was the best motivation ever and the most hilarious thing to hear during delivery. In between and during contractions I was literally laughing, again this should never be possible! Here comes the next contraction...Okay it is time to push again...E says "pizza.....lasagna....more champagne" hahahaha! The OB was astounded and told me to laugh all I want because it was helping the baby come out. Funniest thing in the world that I literally laughed baby 17 out of me! This was too good to be true, like a movie that doesn't give all the details and makes it seem as if the woman isn't even in pain but rather enjoying herself. That was our delivery! Random yet incredible! 15 minutes later the most incredible little BOY entered the world at 3:53 p.m. weighing 8 pounds 3 ounces and 21 inches long. As soon as I saw him in our OB's hands I felt overjoyed. I looked at his long little fingers, cute little face, and all his dark hair and was thankful instantly to have carried him the last 9 months. At that point I was sad to think our journey had ended but really it was only the beginning.
A cut 17's cord and went right over to the station set up for him after delivery in the room. During the pregnancy this was the moment where I wasn't sure how I would feel. Who can say how they would feel without going through the experience. As much as I told myself and everyone else that I wouldn't feel any attachment I still couldn't rule out the possibility and I tried to prepare myself for that very moment. To answer the question that most people asked me throughout all of this, "Aren't you afraid of getting attached and how will you feel once you have the baby?" I feel great! If I had any doubts that I would be attached they all went away after I seen that little miracle and he looked just like his mom and dad. I cannot lie that during the pregnancy I said "Now if this baby comes out with blond hair and blue eyes something is wrong!" haha He was the perfect little replica of E & A no doubt about it. Amazing how I was able to carry this little boy throughout a pregnancy without any biological connection. Blows my mind!
Our OB told me how impressed she was with me, my patience, and this selfless miracle I helped make happen. I had such great treatment and care and she said they couldn't have dreamed up a better patient going through labor and delivery. The entire team of professionals were exactly that! They were extremely supportive and truly showed how much they cared for all of us. I was so glad that they made this day as much about E & A as they did about me. No one felt left out and everyone was treated with the up most respect and care. After the birth I watched E & A with their new baby and I had tears in my eyes. Ben was next to me telling me how amazing I am and we both couldn't believe how great it really did feel to nurture him until he was ready to go home. It was the most beautiful thing to see E & A with baby 17. I was the happiest person in the world at that moment. They were then transferred to a separate room on the same floor so we could both have privacy during the first couples hours of recovery. A checked on us, made sure we were comfortable, and updated us about 17. He had high birth scores, ate like a champ, and was healthy as can be. This made me feel so good!
Flowers sent from A's parents!
The card read: Chelsea, you have given us (and E &A) a very precious gift. For you and your husband to haven given of yourselves in this way is a true act of love and kindness and a creation of a better world for us to live in. May you and your family be blessed with all good things. Our greatest love to you all.
After a few hours we were all transferred to another floor and still had separate rooms. My parents were able to bring Ava up to our room to visit. My mom told me she was freaking out the entire time during my delivery. She was being updated after a certain point and was so worried that things might not be okay that she almost made a surprise appearance, lol! We assured them that everything went perfect and we glad that they came to see us after. We are so grateful for our families to be able to help us in taking care of our children and pets during this precious time. We could not have done this without every single one of them.
We were also greeted by E & A's families. Hugs were exchanged over and over and I was thanked for giving them a grandchild. OMG! This is so much more than just a baby, this is an entire life for an entire amazing family. Blessing! Not only was I thanked but so was Ben and my entire family. Many don't realize what a sacrifice it is for a surrogate's husband and family. There is a lot of focus on the experience as a whole and it takes a lot of time away from your own family. Between the traveling, appointments and being pregnant with another family's child in general they respect Ben so much for supporting me and being a part of this journey as much as I was. Although everything was amazing it will be nice to have some time to just think about my family as it has to be a relief for them to do the same.
At this point Ben and I still were only on 3 hours of sleep and hadn't eaten since the day 1/2 before. A ordered us something to eat and I can only imagine what he was thinking as he picked it up. A little of everything you could say; pizza, fettuccine alfredo, onion rings, salad, a sandwich, mozzarella sticks, fries. ha! Apparently we couldn't decide what we wanted. After we ate we both passed out but it still didn't feel like I had much sleep with nurses in and out and me being confined to the bed still. I attempted to get up and use the restroom around 8pm but as soon as I sat to pee and seen all the blood I went pale! Tons of people rushed into my room and no one had any ammonia on them inconveniently. I remember sitting there, feeling the worst I had ever felt, trying to focus and stay awake while the nurse kept brushing my face with a cold cloth. Finally they had the ammonia waking me right up enough to get me back to the bed to rest. They had to insert a catheter for the evening because my body wasn't ready to be up and about that soon. Same thing happened with Ava so I should have seen that coming.
E & A brought baby 17 (they still hadn't named him at this point) to our room so we could see him. I was able to hold him and see them as a family. They were just deeply in love and you could feel the appreciation in the room, indescribable. They said they are going to work on his first words being Thank you. Soooo cute. I told them that no thank you is needed, it was an honor and I feel grateful just to be apart of them making a baby. I don't even feel like I did anything compared to everything they have went through to get to this point. They are the ones who are strong for being so selfless to trust another family to take care of their child for 9 months. They are amazing people and I wish I could share the happiness on their faces. They have their family!! I couldn't be more proud of them as parents for being so strong for 17. Will always love them! I would love to share all the photos of them and 17 but in order to respect their privacy I am not able to.
The next day was interesting :) I finally was able to get up, walk to the rest room, and pee without a catheter. Ben and I lounged in our room and my parents came to bring Ava up to us one last time before they left. They were kind enough to bring us breakfast and we enjoyed spending time with our own little angel. They drove back to Michigan that afternoon and we were still waiting to hear when I could be discharged. As bitter sweet as it was to separate from E, A, and 17 I was ready to be home. I pushed to be discharged early and they made it happen for me. We booked a train home for 6pm and went to E & A's room to say our 'see ya laters'.
It was like I was visiting a friend in the hospital that just had her baby. In no way (except my body being sore lol) did I feel like I had just given birth to him. I'm amazed at how normal and natural it was being around them. They gave me a beautiful gift (diamond and pearl necklace with a C pendant) and told me how amazing I looked. I just stared in awe at them and couldn't thank them enough for such a great experience. Of course they thought I was crazy to give them thanks but I truly meant it. We now call 17 baby GQ. They had 2 G names in mind and couldn't decide until the day after so G question resulted in GQ for a nickname. (and yes he is as handsome as ever so it is a well deserved nickname)
GQ has been welcomed into this world with so much love not only from his family but from my entire family and all of our friends as well. This could not have been a more rewarding thing to do and I wouldn't change a thing. We are definitely family now and they will always have a bond with me that no one else could ever touch. We walked into the hall and met with there parents again before we left and I need to express how hard it was to walk away and leave them. I bonded so much with all of them and I can say that they really helped me get through the day. There was nothing I could do but cry when they all told me how thankful they were over and over but I will never forget E's mom telling me I saved her daughters life. "OMG I can't take all of this" I kept thinking. I was such an emotional mess to think that yes I helped this family in the most incredible way. She said the doctors told E that if she would have carried GQ she would have died and then she said you saved her and you will always be a blessing to our family, you will always be thought of, and we will always be grateful. Nothing in the world can compare to how I felt. Simply Incredible.
Congratulations E, A, GQ, and Family! We love you dearly!
Love,
The days leading up to delivery seemed to go by sooo slow as they were happening. I was in between emotions due to being excited for E & A but terribly missing home. I kept telling myself I was going to get through this although most of the time I wanted to break down. I had never been away from my husband that long and having Ava without his help was wearing on me. I went for a lot of walks with Ava but toward the end of our stay we mostly kept in the apartment. I was sad that Ben wasn't with me but I looked forward to him being there during delivery. I tried to focus on 17 and keeping my nerves calm; the closer deliver day came the better I was.
This brings me to E & A's big news. They decided a while back to make a huge life decision. They moved to Michigan 2-3 weeks after delivery. Everything was planned out and it was very bitter sweet for E especially. She was in love with her job and the family-like bond she had in the office was priceless. Then again, they are both originally from Michigan (only one of the many coincidences). Both of their families lived in Michigan and not only did A work in Chicago, he also worked in Michigan part-time already. My last couple weeks in Chicago they were super busy getting moving plans together as they were not only waiting for GQ to arrive but were turning their lives completely upside down with a brand new surrounding as well. I'm sure they had many feelings at once but when it comes down to it they want the best for GQ.
I had my 6 week checkup this past Thursday and have lost 15 pounds. I did end up making my weight gain goal of 30 pounds so I still have some to lose but all in all I am very happy with myself and how I look. While being home I have been very productive with the house remodel creating my own little projects to spruce things up. We are doing things ourselves so it is taking slightly longer but we have 2 new windows in, our dining and living rooms have been completely torn apart, a wall knocked down, insulation in, drywall mostly up, and shutters down/painted/back up. All with my husband working 50 plus hours a week, very proud of us. I have been enjoying my time off work but some days are harder than others. I do not have the personality to be a stay at home mom and it starts to drive me crazy being at home all day everyday. I keep very very busy especially with David and Ava but I am ready to go back to work and look forward to that time. 
