Gender Reveal in the Eyes of a Surrogate!!!

Relaxed! Finally I can say that word honestly. The kids are asleep and I just got out of a nice warm shower, what could be better right now? :) I'll tell you! Snuggled up on the couch with my hair wrapped in a towel enjoying a cherry slushy, now that makes things even better! It has been so difficult to get any type of motivation to write a new post these past two months. I thought I had no time when our daughter was7 months old and we were starting this journey but OH NO! Now, she is 15 months old and I am a busier momma than ever! She walks, runs, climbs, talks, throws tantrums, makes me laugh/smile, and on the go go go!! I am completely on the kids schedule now waking up early, while Ava naps I get house work done, go to work, make dinner, go to bed early no later than 11. Whew! My days are blending together and time has just flown by ----> literally!

             We are now 28 weeks pregnant! WHAT!?

 

Before we start on the most recent events I am going to tell you about the last post I was supposed to write a month and a half ago, 17's Gender Reveal Appointment!!!!! February 21st was our big day to Chicago, our gender reveal ultrasound day, and A's birthday. Ben and I were excited to see E & A as a month had past since our last visit. Our trip was a little different this time as we decided to take the train down instead of driving so that morning we woke up extra early and drove to the train station about 15 minutes from our home. When we arrived we parked in the wrong parking lot so Ben went to move the SUV while I waited beside the train nervous and impatient. We had just minutes to spare and we had never been on a train before so my heart was pumping with nerves and excitement all at once.

 

 

 

We settled in quickly and for the first time on a Chicago trip, we relaxed. It was nice just to sit and talk without the hassle and stress of having to think about driving especially in the city. Ben was extremely exhausted with closing the restaurant the night before and only having 3-4 hours of sleep. Of course we were too anxious to sleep on the way there so Ben continued to feel tired the rest of the day, poor man. :( It was so overwhelming and interesting to start at the tiniest train station and end up in Chicago at a train station that was larger than I could have imagined. We had no idea where to go but we knew we both had to use the restroom so that is where we began. We went up many many escalators to get to the main street and made our way to street view to find an address to give E (She was the one picking us up). It was so nice hearing her voice on the phone as we planned our meet in this huge area. We were texting during the entire train ride giving her updates as to where we were and she planned her day around our arrival. We walked down one block and easily found her parked straight ahead. This was it! Ahhh it always makes it feel so real to be around E & A and this appointment was a major deal to all of us, even sleepy Benjamin. ;)

 

We drove back to their condo and from there walked to a little corner cafe for lunch to meet up with A who was getting out of work as well. Finally they were able to see our baby bump with proof that little 17 was growing like crazy. I wasn't sure how awkward it would be to see them in person with a slightly larger belly. For some reason I thought it might change things a little as far as reality truly kicking in for E that I am actually carrying their baby. I'll never know how it feels to not be able to carry my own child in pregnancy and what obstacles a person must overcome to accept help from another person, another woman at that. I know how women are especially when it comes to sensitive issues and I can only imagine a sense of jealousy may exist or emotional discomfort of some sort. I hadn't thought of things in that way until I started showing. E & A seem more happy and trusting than anything else but our ultrasound appointment wasn't what any of us expected!

 

We arrived and all sat in the waiting area while I filled out some paperwork. The door to the patients rooms opened and a voice called out, "Chelsea". There was an awkward pause of silence and I slightly looked around and said, "Does that mean all of us can come back?" Scenes how this baby is E & A's I felt so awkward that I was the one things were being directed to. We walked into a dimmed room which was such a bad sign that Ben was going to pass out during the ultrasound. I was surprised we were able to pry him off the couch in the waiting area, hehehe, I was so glad that E & A were completely understanding of his long hours at work and were not offended. A lady walked into  our room and the experience just wasn't what any of us expected at all. She was very short when she said anything (not that she said much) and just didn't give us a warm and welcome kind of feel. E had to speak up and make sure she knew that I was their surrogate (which she did) just because she didn't seem at all interested in making the ultrasound about E & A.

 

We all watched the ultrasound on the large screen waiting for ultrasound tech to sound excited or let us know what it is we were looking at and not much of anything was said. A few times there would be a random blurt out in single words...."Kidney!" Whoa, okay?! Then when it came to looking at 17's face in 3D the little hand was blocking the view so without warning the ultrasound tech started shaking my belly as hard as she could with the hand held device. Can you say SHOCKED!!!? That was an understatement because I was absolutely terrified! I jumped and almost peed myself as ridiculous as it felt with her putting that much pressure on baby 17. I was dying laughing because that was all I could do to not punch this woman! hahahaha! Looking back it is hilarious because E & A had no idea what the heck just happening and Ben jumped out of his sleep real quick with all of them wondering why the heck she was tormenting me. Let me just say that she did this multiple times and by the end of the ultrasound I was so darn tensed up from head to toe just from anticipating the next crazy shake!!! Anyone who has been pregnant can tell you how uncomfortable it is to for one, to lay straight on your back for that long and for two, to have someone push on your stomach when a baby is pushing right back. I was lucky enough to experience both at the same time ;) Yayy! lol

 

When we came to the point in the ultrasound where it was time to find out the gender we all gracefully turned away in respect to E & A's decision to not find out the sex of 17. I know I know, everyone was looking forward to the big gender reveal but E & A are looking forward to this spectacular surprise! So far everything has been planned and mapped out to specifics for them and they feel this is the only thing that they really have to look forward to (as in not planned and being a surprise). Of course getting pregnant in general was surprising but E more than all of us I believe needs something just for herself to hold onto, something that is completely about her in a moment of time, and when 17 is born it is going to be the most incredible bond between mother and child. I think it is unique and movie-like of them to wait until the birth to find out, they have more patience than I could that's for sure! They have waited this long to get pregnant and plan for a child so what's a few more months for the ultimate surprise right!? Exciting for them!

 

Ben and I were clearly not thinking when we left Michigan in spring jackets and we learned our lesson as we walked however many blocks to our next appointment which was with our delivering OB. Buuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrr! It was interesting because on our walk Ben mentioned my love for milkways and how I may have went through an entire bag of them for Valentines Day (not all in one sitting of course). OMG Benjamin, how dare you tell on me! hehehe Turns out the receptionist desk had a massive bowl of candy on it so here comes E into the waiting room trying to hand me some mini milkways! hahahaha! Oh Jeez, I said absolutely not! I am trying to behave myself but they are so darn tempting and I refused to take them from her. The wait seemed to last forever but our OB is super busy and fully booked for months ahead of time. I suppose you can say I feel a little spoiled that E & A made sure we all had the best of the best doctors.

 

The OB appointment was a breath of fresh air! Whew, we all needed that talk with Dr. M (Our OB) and we all felt great during that appointment. Finally it was all about E & A, even though I was the one sitting on the dr. table. Dr. M started off the conversation saying what an awesome thing we are all doing and gave us all a huge congratulations! Now that is the way to make things feel all warm and friendly! Dr. M went over the ultrasound with us and let us know that everything was perfect for us being at 21 weeks. Baby 17 is beautifully healthy with some long legs ;) Aww, long legged 17 we all love you so much! Dr. M and all discussed delivery plans and answered all the questions we had which was such a relief to finally know the basic details. I am going to be bland about the plans for now but I promise to recap on the next post, this one is getting a little long ;) By the time we were done with the appointment it was time for Ben and I to get back to the train station so we decided to give our love and goodbyes and took a cab. ahhhhhhh!!!! No, more like AHHHHHHH! That cab ride was the scariest thing I have ever had to go through! Yes, even scarier than the ultrasound earlier in the day! I swear I lost count of how many times we almost died and I couldn't wait to get my feet on the sidewalk. Thank Goodness us and baby 17 are okay. Whew!

 

Finding our train wasn't too difficult after we asked for help so we waited in line and settled in again for the trip home. We ate dinner on the train, had good conversation, and tried to get a little rest from our long day. We were both just glad we didn't have to drive home because we were plain ole exhausted!

 

We have only 12 weeks to go until 17 arrives and things could not be better! I was up 8 pounds during our Chicago visit and I have another appointment this week on Thursday the 11th to see how much more I've gained. Guessing double! lol. This appointment will be for my glucose testing and I can't believe we are already at that milestone! Things have went by so quickly but that is because we have all kept ourselves so busy day to day. I can't believe our daughter is 15 months old now but you can only imagine why I stay so busy ;) Our son is all about baby 17 and is doing so well with understanding the amazing journey we have all taken with just being 7 years old. Ben is also doing very well as he was promoted at work, congrats Ben! He is settling into his role as a surrogate father (we call him) rubbing my belly and talking to baby 17, making me feel comfortable in my pregnancy body. Let me tell all of you that he is my rock and I could never have done this without all the support he has given me. He encourages me to live my dreams and he wants to be there every step of the way, even when he wasn't sure what his role was exactly toward the beginning of all this. He is a gift of a husband and I could not be more loved.

 

As far as right now I'm still sleeping well and just getting up one time a night for a potty break (that will soon turn to 2,3,4,5 times a night). I feel comfortable and still have all my energy so that is always good news. My veins are popping out as all the extra blood pumps through me and I have some slight swelling in my fingers but nothing to complain about just yet. I will be having to take my wedding ring off very soon though so that it does not get permanently stuck like it did with Ava's pregnancy. That was the absolute worst when I couldn't get my darn ring off and my fingers hurt so bad from all the water retention. I am working all mid-morning/afternoon shifts at work now Monday-Friday which is AMAZING! I have more time to think about school scheduling and I love having nights and weekends off with the kids. It makes for a much more stable routine and I wouldn't change it for anything! I graduate in May with my associates and I am starting my bachelors this summer with a plan to finish in 2 years! It is all very exciting!

 

Pictured at 26 weeks (:

 

As of today I have just seen the first tint of my linea nigra (belly vertical line). It is very faint but it is a good feeling and shows that baby 17 is growing like crazy and these hormones are still up and at em ;) I am still in the same size clothing except the pants no longer button ;) I have just a few maternity items but I'm planning on wearing mostly dresses when I get to my largest this June. Baby 17 kicks all day everyday but as soon as 11pm comes around it is ON and 17 moves the most at this time every day on target. I am carrying differently with 17 than I did with Ava though so I'm not sure if that is a sign that maybe 17 is a boy but it does makes me wonder. I'm carrying a little bit higher and 17 stays cramped up mostly on my right side making my belly look lopsided. ;)

 

I'm sure I will think of a billion more things I wanted to say but I will be sure to update the long lost thoughts I've had, that is what I get for waiting so long to write about things. Thank you all for the love and support you share! The next post will give you a little recent insight on some negativity I have encountered, the details of our delivery planning, how I am doing so far emotionally, and future plans for E, A, and the Buczynski family. :)

 

I love all of you!!!!
 



E & A's Visit!

On Sunday, January 20th, E & A came to our home for a friendly visit. We were all very excited for their arrival and I was my normal frantic self getting everything in order. I always get so darn nervous when we are going to meet with E & A and this time I took it out on the house cleaning/organization. I just always want to leave a great impression and it was much easier for us to show our true selves in our own setting. Their arrival was a breath of fresh air! The greeted us with hugs and gifts, the kids absolutely loved it!

We all sat talking and laughing while the kids played, warming up to the new faces. Ava loved E & A both as she kept sitting on E without hesitation throughout the visit and flirting with A loving every minute of him pretending to drink from her sippy. :) It was nice to be able to see them without the exhausting drive to Chicago although I did feel bad that they had to travel. They are extreme dog lovers so even Mya, our yellow lab, got along with them well. She was not shy at all especially when it came to sharing her shedding hair, ugh!

We had lunch together -----> Lasagna! After our late lunch we were able to discuss delivery and the upcoming weeks of pregnancy. It is sooooo scary and exciting at the same time that delivery, yes I said DELIVERY is already coming up in conversation. Here we are 20 weeks pregnant and that blows my mind! We started our journey last May and I never imagined we would be delivering our IP's baby around the same time the next year. Time is flying by and before I know it, I will be looking at E & A holding their precious 17, going back home to recover.

You may have noticed I referred to the baby as 17! ;) E emailed me shortly after their visit about a nickname to call the baby during pregnancy. At this point we were almost 17 weeks and she completely caught me off guard with their idea. Baby's nickname is 17! It may seem strange but two embryos were transferred into my uterus on October 13th and they were numbered to keep track of them throughout their progression. The fertility clinic chose embryos 1 and 7 to transfer. Since both embryos did not take, E & A only felt right that this baby would be called 17 throughout the pregnancy because to them baby 17 is a little part of embryos 1 and 7. It makes my eyes water just thinking about it because 17 is my lucky number, it just makes me feel like this was all meant to be for me. I have the most amazing supportive husband, family, and friends and I could have never done it without them. It is the most amazing thing I have ever done and possibly could ever do. ♥

Whew! Now that I have teary eyes ----> Can you say emotional!!! As I was saying, we are talking about the delivery process and beginning to plan for those last few weeks. We are going to start by going down to Chicago February 21st to meet with our delivering OB and to get familiar with the facility along with their staff. This is going to be a very exciting trip because we will also find out the gender of 17!!!!!! It will be a nice change of pace with this appointment since we will be taking the train letting us relax a little on the way there and back. This will be the longest trip so far being in Chicago the entire day with our train ride starting at 10am and ending at 10pm. I will definitely be missing my little girl!

Feeling...........Fantastic!!!!!! I haven't had any headaches since week 16, I have tons of energy ( although I still love my sleep (: ), I feel 17 kick all day everyday, no discomforts at this point, I love the smell of foods, my body is continually changing/stretching, my skin is awesome, I am still fitting in my pre-pregnancy clothing Yayyy, and I am not sure about any recent weight gain but I will have that update next week at our appointment. Still hoping to keep it under 35 pounds so it is not as hard to lose it in the end. I have a new belly photo to share!!!


   
    19 1/2 Weeks

Starting to notice the belly bump through clothing but it is much more noticeable when I lift the outer layers :)

Baby 17 kicks away! I have been feeling small movement since week 15 and now at week 20 not only can I feel 17 move but now others can too. The kicks get stronger and stronger every week with us being able to see them as I sit very still watching my belly jump around. Ava has a new fasination with lifting mommy's shirt pointing at the belly button :) Too Cute.

I am loving being pregnant!!!!

xoxoxoxo,

Surrogacy at 17 Weeks!!!

This past Tuesday was our official 17 week mark!!! Yayy! I can't believe we are this far along already, almost to that half way point! It is a little bitter sweet though, I feel like this journey has gone so quickly and I'm not sure I want it to end so soon. I supposed I have 23 more weeks to soak it all up and then decide how bad I do or don't want it to end (hehehe) I'm guessing labor will definitely make me want it to.

Here is our 17 week belly photo :0

There has been some slight changes since our 14 week photo. I feel the baby move everyday now just kicking and swimming away. I feel the movement at this point mostly right after I eat or right after I get home from work at night. Maybe this will be a night baby like our daughter was ;) E & A are wondering if they are having a girl or boy so every time I tell them a new change (like the baby kicking at 15 1/2 weeks) they try to guess what they think the baby will be. Apparently girls are usually a little more advanced than boys and you feel them kick sooner in the 15 and 16 weeks instead of the 20th weeks.

 

So far everything still fits, clothing wise, I am still able to button my pants although not without the love handles slowly inching their way off the sides. Soon enough I will be using the hair tie to connect the front of my pants ;)

 

I am feeling....GREAT! I have only had 1 recent headache but they are fading further and further apart. I still like the occasional nap (especially when Ava takes hers) but in no way am I exhausted like I was in our first trimester. My body is slowly making its changes meaning the bloated feeling I have most of the time is my belly getting harder and my hair and nails are growing like crazy.

 

Sleeping - I am already tossing and turning through the night. I am not uncomfortable but my mind will wander and sometimes it makes me not able to sleep. Boooooooo!

 

Emotionally- I feel like I'm doing great, I get a little agitated when I don't get enough sleep but then again, who doesn't? I do not feel emotionally attached and I don't want that to sound like a bad thing because I love this baby but I love this baby for E and A. In no way, even with feeling the baby kick, do I feel it is mine. I don't know how I separate my feelings but I feel that it just comes naturally since Ben and I went into this journey knowing the outcome. I don't expect that it is the same for every surrogate as I was told the emotional attachment would be the hardest part of our experience. I keep myself so busy with our children, working, school, and hobbies to where being a surrogate blends right in and emotions haven't quite hit me at this point. I can't say all emotions as I am still pregnant and always hormonal, hehehe. I still like to cry to television shows even if they may not be all that sad, it may be a woman thing, ha.

 

Past Few Weeks Update - I was having some mild uncomfortable cramping during work so when I got home I sat down and relaxed hoping the cramping would go away. I was a little nervous because I don't remember this stage of pregnancy with my daughter or if I had cramping. I e-mailed E & A just to inform them of what was going on and if it continued on to the next day I was going to head into see the doctor. Thankfully I woke up and felt better than ever with absolutely no cramping. Whew!!! I guess my insides are just shifting to make room for baby ;)

 

Next Post -- E & A Visit!!!! Baby's New Nickname! Soon To Come!!

 

Thanks for reading!!

 

Belly Changes (:

Belly Photo Before (:

Belly Photo 14 Weeks!!

Up 2 1/2 pounds :) xoxo,

The Beginning of our Surrogacy Journey!

We wish you a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

15 Weeks Pregnant!!!!

 

This past month has been super crammed with events and we've been keeping extremely busy. I've gotten a lot of questions about how I have been doing and I apologize for not being able to keep up with posts BUT things have been awesome! We celebrated our son's 7th birthday this past month along with Christmas and the new year. We had a few parties to go to and were able to spend time with family we don't get to see often. I always enjoy that part of the holidays. We also celebrated our daughter turning 1 on December 28th. :) We are having her 1st birthday party this Sunday to celebrate with all our friends and family so yes I still have my hands full with things to do. There hasn't been much relaxing because if Ben and I aren't working the kids always keep us very busy.

 

Ben and I are still looking for that perfect house to come along so we can snatch it up but as of right now, we are waiting border line impatiently. Right before Christmas my car decided that it was no longer going to be safe to drive so we have a new edition to our family and bought our wonderful SUV. Things have been really looking up for us lately and Ben passed his management assessment test promoting him to salary manager!!! This was the best news of all and he has been working so hard to get to where he is so we are all so very proud of him. I have been working about 5 nights a week and so far it is working our great! I'm not at the uncomfortable stage yet and I am not showing too much to where I get a lot of questioning from my guests.

 

The journey of being a surrogate has definitely had its strengths and weaknesses in these beginning stages. I have been feeling great except these piercing headaches that occur 1-4 times a week. They normally last all day and not much seems to help but I've been told they usually past after 13-16 weeks of pregnancy. Let us keep our fingers crossed! I have had no nausea since week 9 but I sure do love my sleep! I don't feel as if I'm exhausted but I could sleep forever and not mind it one bit. It's just another changing stage of pregnancy. Next week I will probably be up every day at 6am ready to get things done.

 

We had our 2nd OB appointment this past Tuesday January 8th and it went perfect. I have only gained 2 1/2 pounds and slight inches around my lower abdomen. Yes! I think that means I'm starting to show (: When I first took measurements I was at 34...26...35. Today I am at 34...27...35 with the biggest part of my belly being at 33. We didn't have another ultrasound done this time but I was able to hear the heartbeat going strong. I took Ava with me this time and as soon as the heartbeat started beating out loud she just stopped in her tracks and stared at me. I'm sure she remembers that sound quite well and it seemed to really grab her attention. Afterward I went to get more blood work done just to check and make sure any defects are eliminated from possibilities. We should hear results soon :) I feel great, I look healthy, and my skin is always so wonderful during pregnancy. That's something I wish would last all the time.

 

We are all adjusting well with the surrogacy so far. I am starting to feel all the beginning flutters and slight kicks throughout the day but it seems to be mostly at night, it is hard to tell this early. I can't believe we are 15 1/2 weeks already!! Time has flown by but keeping busy with everyday activities has helped. E & A are super stoked about finding out the sex of the baby in our next appointment and I am excited to see their expressions when they see their baby on the monitor. Already know I'm going to cry, guaranteed, hehe. I know how much they love this baby already and everyday talking to them makes this experience that much more worth it. I love being a surrogate! I love telling people our story and spreading the knowledge about surrogacy. I hope to inspire others to help and to have faith.

 

E & A! We are getting very excited because E & A will be coming to visit us next week on the 20th! Finally we will have some face to face time to talk and for them to meet David and Ava for the first time. It is going to be a neat experience seeing them interact with our children as I carry theirs. I just never thought we would get this far so quickly! Just think, I only started researching surrogacy when Ava was 3 months old, March 2012. Now here we are, 15 weeks pregnant, with a healthy baby! Our next appointment will be be in Chicago on February 21st (A's Birthday!!) We will be spending the day with E & A, finding out the anatomy of the baby, and meeting with their OB who will be delivering (: It's crazy and exciting that we are now planning for a delivery. Already? I know right!? It seems so soon but when I go down on the 21st of Feb I will be able to get familiar with the settings and with the OB that will be working with us in the end. We have discussed me going down to Chicago 2-3 weeks before our due date just to make sure I don't start contractions and have to sit through a 3 hour drive in that condition, NOT FUN! Now we are going to see how the pregnancy continues and if I'm not showing signs of labor then I may not need to go down and stay early, they would then schedule me to be induced at 39 weeks. This is surreal to me right now, to think we may actually have the exact date that E & A will hold their baby is the most beautiful thing in the world. I am still nervous though about an induction, as I was induced with Ava 9 days overdue, and it wasn't the best experience. I have faith that this time will be different and we will all have a good experience!

 

Are you attached? I've been getting this a ton! Honestly, I love this baby but I I've this baby for E & A. I have no feelings of attachment that this baby is mine but I do have feelings of attachment towards E & A. It's hard to explain but to keep it simple, I know how much a family means to them and I feel such an emotional bond to that. They take care of me and keep me sane even when I didn't feel so well. I know in the end that this baby is going to have the most amazing family to love them and that alone is worth the experience. I have been hearing a lot about me having to be a strong person to do this. It does take a special person to separate feelings and to put others before them but I have my ups and downs. I get aggravated and overwhelmed just like the next person. I have times that I want to cry and feel weak but I always push through and see the positive side of things. I am already a changed person, I am much more educated about infertility and different causes/effects, I don't take things for granted because I know how blessed I am, and I treat everyone how I expect to be treated. It is the most important thing to stay true to yourself and I have become better with accepting what I can and cannot do, using my strengths to helps the ones around me.

 

I have photos to share but the site is experiencing technical difficulties so I will have to place them in a separate post unfortunately :(

 

Love,

 

 



Our First OB Appointment!

I went in this morning to my OB's office and did the normal signing in routine. They called me back within 10 minutes and there it is right in front of me, my nemesis! Oh Okay, it was just the darn scale but I hate that part of the appointments, lol. I do not own a scale and I don't think I ever will but I think I was traumatized through my pregnancy with Ava by this dang thing. I never thought in a million years it would be possible for me to gain 50 pounds and she definitely proved me wrong, ha! I weighed myself at my mother in laws at the beginning of the pregnancy at 131 pounds. Not to shabby as I ended my pregnancy less than a year ago at 185 pounds. YIKES! I get on the scale, now being 11 weeks pregnant, and 132! Yes! Only up 1 pound woooo hooooo! I also have to admit that the 1 pound gained has to be in the breast area.

The nurse took me into the room and we started talking about the surrogacy and I just get so darn emotional that I almost cried when she said how wonderful it was and how strong I am for doing this. I put my hand up and said we are going to have to stop this conversation before these hormones make me start bawling, hehehe. Lets just say that wasn't the only time I almost broke into tears, I did it again with my OB in the room talking to me about it. My blood pressure is great and my uterus is growing just as it should be. She ( my OB is a woman) searched for a heartbeat with the little mini monitor they have in the patient rooms but she couldn't seem to find one. With the fetus still being little and liking to hide it can sometimes be difficult at this stage. This meant that it was my lucky day and I was going to get to see surro baby on the monitor again. (:

It just so turned out that at the exact time of my appointment they were getting  new ultrasound equipment so E & A's baby had the first little photo shoot while the sonographer learned the new system. I just layed there patiently admiring all the little positions baby was in. It was so crazy to see how big baby has grown and how fast they were moving in there. It almost looked like it was leaping and kicking their little legs in the air after, too cute (: I am just excited I was able to get a few good photos to send to E and A including a 3D. So cool at this stage.

 Mini E & A



 Baby's Profile

3D snuggling (soooo coool)

 

During the appointment my OB and I discussed how I have been feeling - Great! I am still not having any nausea symptoms but I do keep getting a tiny headache daily and she informed me that it was a hormone headache and that I can take Tylenol. I feel bloated at times but the baby is growing and will be start pushing me outward soon enough. We talked about my emotions so far and I haven't experience anything I didn't with Ava. I cry during shows and sensitive subjects but I'm hormonal so I'm blaming that, ha! I don't feel any type of attachment so far to the baby (even in the ultrasounds) except happiness for E & A. I can't wait for them to finally have what they always dreamed of, their family. I feel a close bond to E especially but that is nothing against A, it is only that I can put myself in E's shoes more easily. It is a hard thing for a woman to except that she can not carry a child and I sympathize for her. I think this journey will be full of emotions but I can only imagine happiness as of right now. I instantly texted her about the appointment and she was happy to hear the baby is growing and healthy. The heartbeat was at a strong 165 and our due date of July 2nd is still right on target!

 

Next appointment is January 8th. This will be the time to test for any genetic disorders if E & A choose to do so. If not it will be a normal check-up with the heartbeat to hear.

 

How is the family? Everyone is still super supportive and full of questions but I always love talking about it so that doesn't bother me. David hasn't been asking questions recently but I think he is just accepting of anything Ben and I decide to do. I'm sure once I get to the point where I'm showing surro baby will get brought up more in topic with him but for right now it still seems pretty surreal.

 

Until next time loves!

Morning Sickness! Ugh!

I seriously can NOT believe it has been 20 days since my last post! I bet everyone is wondering what the heck is going on! To be honest, I have had absolutely NO interest in blogging these past 2 weeks and I tried so hard to focus and write but I was not feeling it at all. I usually save drafts on things that happen so I know not to forget to write about it and I have a list full on here that all my readers should have been updated on forever ago! I do apologize but here is the scoop! (:

The last post I wrote was our 3rd ultrasound. We will not be scheduled any more ultrasounds at this point but we start our routine OB appointments, Yayyyyy!!!! I am actually super stoked about this because now I will get to talk to my doctor about what to expect and start to prepare for all the emotions leading up to the birth and even after the birth. There is really no way to really prepare for that sort of things because I am going to be emotional but it will be nice to have my OB there to not judge and understand.

Our first OB appointment is December 11th -----> Ya I know, in 2 dayssssss!!!! Just makes me realize how fast things are going already and I need to write more (: The appointments will continue to be local just we are just blocks away from the hospital, which is wonderful! :) E and A will still not be attending as of right now but as the baby gets bigger I'm sure they will want to be there!

Other News that I am ecstatic about!!!!! I am officially DONE with all medications as of December 7th! YES! No more suppositories, No more suppositories, Did I mention No more suppositories?! He He He. I will be taking prenatal vitamins for the remainder of the pregnancy and that is it. (: I am very happy about this but my body on the other hand, has not been so thrilled with the changes :(

Feeling Like BLAH! These past two weeks have been THE WORST! I have been so sick to my stomach, NO appetite, just pure exhausted (even after doing nothing). I have not vomited because I do everything in my power to avoid it. I find myself running into the bathroom, putting my arms above my head, and taking the deepest breaths possible. I have managed to not throw up once so I can be thankful for that. I can sleep 9 hours and feel like I haven't slept at all. Ben is working a ton of hours so if I don't work that day, I have both kids all day. The way his schedule works for now is 10-10, right in the middle of our day. I'M EXHAUSTED! I've been napping like crazy during the day and I have had no motivation to do anything. I cried the other night alone just thinking that I want my old self back! I cry to the weirdest things (Say Yes to the Dress, Cinderella, or for no reason at all) Ha! I know it is so lame! I had been having the craziest dreams to, as strange as being chased around Red Lobster with the live lobsters in the tanks! Horrifying I know! hehehe

Thankfully I am glad to announce that these past few days have been a blessing! I have had no nausea (knock on wood), the 4 day headache I had is gone, and I am finally starting to feel like I am back. I mean I'm blogging aren't I? It has to be a good sign! I still like my mid-day naps but I feel like my energy is slightly returning to where I feel half way descent waking up. We had our son's birthday party today and actually had the courage to invite his classmates. It all turned out wonderful and I am glad I was feeling up for the 7 year old birthday party challenge.

At Home - Ben and I are still looking for a house to buy and unfortunately nothing has come up worth while but we are keeping our faith that things will work out when the time is right. Christmas shopping has consumed me the past couple weeks although I dreaded every minute due to the awful headaches I was getting. I'm happy to say we are done shopping for birthdays and Christmas but the party planning is still continuing. Ben and I are so lucky (NOT) to have both of our children's birthdays in December along with Christmas. We are planning a 1 year party for our daughter Ava after the first of the year since she didn't grace us with her presence until the 28th, right in between Christmas and New Years. Let us just say that we are having a busy month for sure! (:

What we've been up to ;) We made our Christmas tree this year since our space is limited and Ava would not do good with a tree at this age. Here are some photos (: Don't mind me in my work clothes, ha!

 

 

 

Ta Da! Our Buczynski Tree! (:

 



Fantastic News! I will be officially graduated with my Associates Degree in 1 week! I know it has seemed like forever but I am glad things have worked out the way they have. I have been going to school part-time while working full-time and being a wife/mother. It has taking me 4 years of going but I have NO student loans and I am soooooo proud to have accomplished this on my own. I will be a college graduate and I will continue to go to school for physical therapy. Things for Ben and I are better than ever and we are so happy with how things are laying into place. We truly could not have done it without all of our friends and family. They have helped us so much with the kids and supporting us 100%. Now I better stop before I start crying again, hehehe.

I promise to post more often now that I seem to be feeling better and hope this darn morning sickness was only a 2 week fling because it is no longer welcome! (:

Oh Gosh, more water works as I just opened a card from E and A (It has a little black pug dog on the front for their puppy O) Sooo Cute! "Dear Chelsea, This is definitely no hallmark card for what I want to say! There are no words to describe our appreciation for all that you are doing for us. On top of just being a surrogate, you are the sweetest, most thoughtful person. You always make me feel better with your texts and words of encouragement. I truly admire how you balance all that you do -- work, school, mommy, and now this! We wish you the happiest and healthiest of holidays and new year! Love, E, A, & O (our puppy) :)"  Seriously!!!! I am soooo darn emotional!!!! I love them so much!

Love,

3rd Ultrasound!!!

It has been 3 long weeks since we started our ultrasounds and so much has been going on. We have been dealing with 2 sick children, allergic reactions, long hours at work, I'm still taking my Literature class, the normal early pregnancy symptoms, and lots of stress! I have still not vomited but I feel so nauseated any time of the day if I haven't eaten in a few hours. This is difficult because my appetite has been very small, certain smells or sights turn my stomach, I'm trying to get past it and eat anyway though. My body is starting to feel weak and I am completely exhausted even if my day consists of staying home. I think I feel worse when I have the day off work than I do working a 6-8 hour shift. I love love LOVE taking naps when possible but I feel like I can never get enough sleep. I am even more anal these days with the house looking a certain way, vacuuming at least every other day, using the Clorox wipes on every surface daily, deep cleaning the kids rooms, and get more organizing done, although I'm not sure how I could possibly be more organized. :)

I went into the ultrasound appointment with all positive thoughts. I knew things must be going well if I was starting to feel this BLAH! I sat for a while in the waiting area, by myself, and every minute that went by I got a little more nervous. I could hear the television in the background talking about whooping cough and how important it is to be informed about it and then the topic changed to infertility discussing a specialist in New York and the new egg freezing technique so that woman can manipulate their biological clocks. This clearly got me interested because 5 minutes past in a blink. I think it is amazing how technology has came along and that there are doctors dedicated to helping women (families) have children. This technique enables a working woman to freeze her eggs at a younger age and use them when she is ready meaning her eggs are higher grade staying at her young age even though she has gotten older. This is like freezing time and giving women the option of choosing a career without the worry of infertility after a certain age (to an extent). Very Interesting!

I was called back, FINALLY, It was just minutes and I was looking at E and A's little miracle again. Baby is a sneaky little thing and likes to hide but we ended up getting a good photo to share. Baby is so comfortable it is measuring 3 days ahead at 8 weeks 3 days with a STRONG heartbeat of 173! WOW!!! I was a little worried after discontinuing the injections but my body has taken over and is providing what this little precious needs. It makes me feel great that I am completely taking to this entire process and actually able to help E and A have a baby! It is finally sinking in as I believe it is for them as well.

Can you believe how big baby looks compared to the last two weeks? So Neat!!! Head to the left...Less and less space in that little sac, it's about to get tight in there ;)

Thanks for reading our super short post this week, it is waaaayyyyy past this old woman's bed time, hehehe :)

p.s. Happy Thanksgiving! I hope everyone eats a ton of amazing food and I hope I have the appetite too (:

Love Love Love!!!!

2nd Ultrasound!!

As things have calmed down for me these past few weeks with getting the relief of a BFP  but it has not exactly been the same for E & A. They have been very nervous, anxious, and just emotionally drained because of all their previous disappointments they have had to go through to get to where we all are today. I don't think it has really sunk in yet for them that they have a baby on the way but how could it for anyone? They have been so strong through these hard times and it has to be difficult for them to think they are just getting their hopes up again only to have another disappointment. Every appointment/ultrasound we have I see a change in E's responses. I can hear the tone that she wants to be excited but the next appointment will give her just a little more relief. After these first initial ultrasounds all confirm that baby is comfortable and growing as it should then they can finally relax a little. I can't wait for them to blurt out to the world that they have a baby on the way and get all the attention expecting parents deserve! This is a completely different way of doing things and instead of being there everyday feeling the baby grow and move, they are living their lives as if nothing has changed. E and I are in the same situation but the experience for each of us is completely opposite. To break it down and really think about E doesn't carry the baby, go to all the appointments, have the crazy hormonal changes, or have any restrictions. I don't have to plan a nursery, wake up every 2 hours to a newborn, and even though my life routine has changed for now, it will all go back to normal in 7 months.

I say it will all go back to normal but this journey has already change my life. I am much more conscious about infertility and have sooooo much sympathy for those families. I look at my children differently and realize how blessed I am to have a little part of me in them. I will raise them to be thankful everyday for what we have and to not get down when things don't always go the way we plan. People everyday go through terrible situation but sometimes there are other ways to get the things we desire. E & A had to be patient, think outside the normal, and just have faith that amazing things can happen for them even if it hasn't seemed that way thus far.

Our 2nd ultrasound was yesterday at 10am and I went alone this time because I knew it wasn't going to take long. As soon as it was in place I could immediately see how much their baby had already grown! The little heartbeat last week was 111 and this week it was all the way up to 148, woooooo hoooo strong little love bug! It was so neat to see the little blob forming slowly into a little person and you will know what I mean looking at this photo! Soooooo Coooool!

If you look closely their baby's head is down, the two little arms are coming right out from under, and the two little legs look slightly separated. If you look at it upside down it looks little a tiny human standing in my uterus! So Neat!  This has to be one of the best first photos ever! Of course I took this picture before I was even out of the medical room and sent it right to E. Her response, "Love!!!" See, the responses get better and better and I think she is coming around to this being more real of an experience. I am going to do something special for E & A so that they have the chance to feel like expecting parents and that this isn't about just me and the baby. I will let you know when it is finished ;)

With that good news I have even more good news, the fertility clinic called telling us the ultrasound results looked wonderful and I  am officially off the booty shots! yayyyy! I will be continuing the prenatal vitamins, baby aspirin, suppositories, and 2 estrogen patches every other day until I am told otherwise. Let me just tell you though, whether this is WTMI or not, I CAN'T WAIT FOR NO MORE SUPPOSITORIES! Those awful little pills are gross and 3x a day (uuukkk) They are placed pretty far back near the cervix but being a waitress I move around and my body heat causes them to melt. Usually I'm at work and I get a gush feeling (ladies: like you just started your period and weren't expecting it for a day or so) GROSS!!!! So my daily routine has consisted of many panty liners and wipe downs, ugh! Again, I can't wait for those to be crossed right off the medication list! Check!

I'll leave you on that note and will update you on next weeks ultrasound appointment, Tuesday November 20th at 12pm. (:

p.s. I found this awesome little baby tracker growth progress app that I will be adding to the right column today, you can hear a heartbeat and turn a little light on the baby, CUTE!

Love Love Love,

Blissfully Surrogacy!

What an exhausting last few days! Our daughter has been so sick, poor thing, with a high fever and double ear infection :( She has never been sick before so it was a rude awakening for the whole family. I have been trying to get as much sleep as possible because I have felt so tired this past week. I have said again and again how I never had morning sickness while pregnant with Ava but fingers crossed for this pregnancy and sure enough Wednesday evening/Thursday morning I was SICK! I got up so many times throughout the night and just stood in the bathroom with my arms above my head taking the deepest breaths I have ever taken  (heeeeee whoooooo heeeeeee whoooooo) I kept coaching myself silently, "your not going to throw up...your going to be okay...just breathe" which soon turned into begging myself, "Please don't throw up! Keep breathing! Please don't throw up!" On that note I hate vomiting more than anything and I will do anything possible to not do it, I know once I start there is no stopping me for a long time (NOT GOOD!) Thankfully I did NOT end up vomiting but I felt so sick to my stomach all the way until 11am Thursday. UGH! Happy to announce I haven't felt that way since...so far :(

Saturday was an exciting evening for Ben and I both, if the ultrasound this next Tuesday comes back with great results then Saturday was my last progesterone shot!!!! Yayyyy, No More Bootayyy Shots! That deserves some pineapple sherbert! It was the best shot of all which figures, save the best for last, it didn't hurt and was barely even sore, YES PLEASE! I will absolutely keep you posted for Tuesday's ultrasound and hopefully figure out how to upload the video as well. I'm not too anxious for this appointment but at this point it feels like a waiting game as if it is still surreal because I don't feel much different. I am very excited to see baby and make sure baby is still comfy and cozy in there to give E & A a little piece of mind. For them the experience is so much different I'm sure. They don't live the journey every single day except in thought/e-mail and I can't imagine waiting for these appointments to come each week. It is the medical confirmation that can give piece of mind that their perfect little embryo is growing healthy and comfortably. They have their full trust put into us for all the in between appointment details but I am very prompt at telling E anything I would want to know, as if I were carrying my own (: Love her to death!

HAPPY VETERANS DAY!!!

Love,