The First Shot!

OH MY GOODNESS!



This is absolutely not a joke and is exactly how dramatic I was right before giving myself this injection. First I may have washed my hands a ridiculous amount of times and not because they were dirty but because my nerves were on edge about poking a needle into my abdominal area. I organized an entire area in our kitchen for all of my meds to be held that is far out of reach of the children. We have made specific rules about David going near any of those items of which do not belong to him and could cause danger. That pretty much got the point across but he did throw in there, "What if I forget the rules?" Ha! Kids are hilarious!

 

After bleaching the 3 drawer tote I am using to store the medications in I put all of them in specific drawers according to the time frame I will be taking them. I almost labeled the drawers and that deserves another Ha! because I can see right through them to know what they are. When I am nervous I have this tendency of making sure I am insanely organized and go over things many many times. After everything was placed I cleaned off the counter with an alcohol pad and placed a paper towel down to set my things on. I laid out the individually packaged syringe, vial of Lupron, 2 alcohol pads, sharps container, the note I wrote myself with direct instructions, 1 gel ice pack, and 1 water bottle that I filled with hot water and was going to be used as a heating pad. Maybe too prepared?!

 

 

 

 I cleaned the vial with the alcohol pad and took the syringe out of the package. This entire time I have the ice pack propped on my stomach against the counter so that I could still use both hands. I pulled back the syringe to the number of units I was going to put into the syringe due to the vial being air tight. I then flipped the vial upside down after pushing the air back into the vial and drew out my dosage. I was sooooooooo scared which doesn't give how scared I truly was any justice. Ben was standing next to saying, "Okay, take the needle out of the vial". I really didn't want to and I replied with, "I am going to be taking my time because I am really nervous" and may have added "I think my nerves are making me have too poop!" Ha! Way to be real about things right?! Sometimes when your nerves get all amped up it does funny things to your system.

 

I take the syringe out of the vial finally and remember, the ice pack is still on my stomach. Ben is standing ready to take the photo of my first shot and here I am not wanting to even take the ice pack off. I wipe down the area I am poking with an alcohol pad and pinch my skin holding the needle out in front, NOPE I CAN'T DO IT! I put the ice pack back on telling myself I hadn't iced it enough. Ha! Ben is being as patient as he can understanding that it my first one but continuously telling me to let him do it for me. Oh No! There is no way I am letting him do my first shot, then I will never want to do it. I just need to get over the fear and stick it in. OK! I am doing it this time. I take the ice pack off and re-wipe the area again, 1...2...3.....................I could have kept counting, 4...5....6 etc. Nope! Yet again I scare the crap out of myself and put that ice pack right back on.

 

At this point it was getting ridiculous. I was making myself more afraid and here Ben is just waiting to take a picture. hehehehe. I kept saying over and over, "I am so scared!". Ben says again, "Just let me do it, I will actually give you the shot rather than you going back and forth deciding when". No! No! No! I will do it this time. I was so darn afraid and my heart was beating a million beats per minute. I kept thinking, "It will be over soon and I will put that heating bottle right on it so I wont even feel the pain". Yikes, here it goes...........AGAIN!

 

Taking the ice pack off yet another time, pinching my skin (saying to Ben, "I wish I had more belly fat right about now"), taking 10 seconds torturing myself thinking about the pain and POKE!

 

Holy **** Holy **** Holy **** Holy ****

 

 

Yes, those were the words running through my mind, Ha! Ben snapped the picture and I took the needle out placing the cap on and in the sharps container it went. WHEW! I felt like I deserved a good laugh for as hyped up I was about doing it and it not being anything to worry about. It was completely painless and easy. Now I am not saying tomorrow I will be jumping right up to do it without a little prepping but it will definitely be easier than tonight. I don't know why, even though it didn't hurt, that I feel so reluctant to want to do it. Maybe just the idea of poking myself with a needle and doing it wrong I suppose. It is crazy because these needles are so tiny compared to the ones I will be starting in another month. You think this experience was delayed. Eeeeeekkk! I am going to have to have Ben give me those for sure!

 

 

Thanks for reading my crazy story and how worked up I got for nothing. I feel silly now that I was that terrified. Priceless memories to say the least. At least I know the days I am not willing to poke myself that Ben is always gung ho about it! Ha!

 

Night Everyone!